Does karma play a role in getting back your ex? If so, does love always come back knocking as karma for the good or bad things you did? A client who had so many regrets about breaking up with an ex who genuinely loved her seemed to think so.
“Do you believe in karma?” she asked.
I didn’t know exactly where she was going with the question, so I said, “Explain karma?”
“Karma… like in if you do something it comes back to bite you.”
To which I replied “No. I don’t believe in that kind of karma. But I do believe that the energy we put out into the world each and every day strongly impacts our love relationships.
“That’s what I mean. This is karma. He is the only guy that ever truly loved me and I broke his heart. This is karma knocking.” She said crying.
“I don’t know if it’s karma knocking but I know that love always comes back knocking.”
“Karma” as a topic itself is very controversial
It means different things to different people. For some people karma means that you are in a relationship with someone today because of past karma. Whatever happens in that relationship happens because of the karma you both bring into it.
For others, karma means that our actions cause good or bad things to happen to us. For example, if you break someone’s heart, someone else will break yours. If you cheat on your partner, someone else will cheat on you, etc.
For the purposes of this article, I’ll focus on the law of cause and effect in a love relationship.
It is true that sometimes our actions create an immediate consequence. You try to make your boyfriend jealous by flirting and kissing a guy you are not even sexually attracted to, and your boyfriend gets so jealous that he has sex with your best friend. Or you treat someone you really like they mean nothing to you and they start believing that they mean nothing to you.
In these examples you can see the direct link between cause and effect.
But sometimes the cause and effect or reaction is not as direct or immediate
That’s why even when we’re told that the mind games we play will backfire, we don’t believe it. We did it before and there was no direct or immediate consequence. Why stop now?
The effect of most mind games is difficult to evaluate with certainty; and most specific causes can only be seen in hindsight (if at all). But make no mistake about it, everything we do is interconnected even when we can’t see how. Not just the things we do to, for or with the man or woman we love, but also the things we do to other people that we think have nothing to do with our love relationship.
If you sell a useless car to an unsuspecting customer and get away with it; you will do it again because even though you know it’s “wrong” there are no negative consequences. You sell another useless car, and then another and still no negative consequences. You even get rich doing it.
The more times you get away with it, the more it becomes like a habit
Something you “just do” without even thinking. And because it works, you try the same tactics in your relationship as well and it works there too. So you do it again, and it works again. Then one day, you are just doing what you always do, and at the worst possible time, it not only doesn’t work, the negative effects are irreversible.
Karma? I don’t know. What I know is that most of the “bad” things that happen to us in our lives and in our relationships are caused by our “bad habits”. Too many “bad habits”, too many heartaches. Just like you can’t cheat death with a lifetime of “bad habits”; you can’t cheat love. Your “bad habits” will eventually catch up with you. And when it happens, it’s always too late.
You may say, I know of so-and-so who played mind games but is happily married? The married part may be true, but not the happy part. Most married mind game players are very lonely because even though they are married, the person they are married to is in love with someone else (the person the game player is pretending to be).
Is your break-up relationship karma?
Maybe or maybe not. It depends on how you define karma. The purpose of love however, is not to punish us for the things we’ve done, but teach us to be very mindful of our actions, even when we do not necessarily believe in karma. Every word you utter to your ex and every action you take will have it’s consequences, often times the cause and effect is cumulative.
When you act with deception, selfishness or mean spirit, you get resistance, distrust or your ex wanting to get as far away from you as possible.
When you act in, with and from love, you create a loving environment that nurtures safety, love and caring. It’s in this safe and loving environment, that a new relationship with your ex grows.
Sometimes love may not come back in the form of your ex. It may come back as someone new in your life. Someone drawn to the way you act in and from love.
I don’t know if this is karma, but I know is that love always, always comes back knocking.