Will My Ex Commit If He Thinks He’s Losing Me Forever?

Question: He wanted to get married within a month of our first date. I did not feel it was right to rush things. 18 months later I told him I am ready to get married and he says he is not ready and feels that he may never get married. I have walked away from him for the time being and maybe he’ll freak out when he realizes he could lose me forever. What do you think?

Yangki’s Answer: I sincerely hope things go the way you hope they will; that he will realize he could lose you forever and ask you to marry him. But there is also possible that things could go the opposite direction — he realizes he likes his new life without you.

Walking away is NOT the path I would have advised you to take, but since you’re already on it, I suggest that you don’t just spend your days “waiting”. Fill up your life with things that make you happy and positive and whatever happens, happens.

The alternative is to swallow your pride, go back and try to calmly work things from the inside. Get to understand why he says he may never get married and see if you can help him move past whatever is making him feel that way.

Many people these days are choosing to be single for the rest of their lives and there are several reasons why one would feel that marriage is not for them. Some of them may have something to do with the relationship, some nothing to do with you or the relationship, and sometimes it is a feeling at the time – and not a decision written in stone.

If in your conversations you realize that he is serious about never getting married, cut your loses sooner and find someone who wants to get married.