I think that you’re confusing “forgiveness” with excusing the wrong. …

Comment on Why You Should Forgive Your Ex Already by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng.

I think that you’re confusing “forgiveness” with excusing the wrong. Forgiveness doesn’t negate or justify anything that the other person said or did. Forgiveness is choosing to no longer be emotionally tied to the wrong or the person who you feel did you wrong. As long as you still hold on to the anger or hurt from rejection, abandonment, ill-treatment, betrayal etc, you are emotionally tied to the person who committed the wrong.

Where I do agree with you is that not everyone can forgive and not everyone wants to forgive. Some people are perfectly okay holding onto anger and hurt, and that’s their choice. I personally don’t think anyone should be trying to force forgiveness down their throat.

I read a quote somewhere that says: Holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal in your hand with the intention of throwing it at someone. You are the one who gets burned.

I wish that was the end of it. But people who find it hard to forgive or will not forgive don’t just burn themselves, they often hurt others as well. They are easily offended, angered or hurt. They hold onto grudges, are driven to take revenge and seem to be angry at anyone and everyone, about nothing.

Recent Comments by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng

Communicating Vs. Emotional Connection (Pt 2)
I’m hoping with you… 🙂
Thank you for your kinds words.


Laid Back Vs. Detached – And How Not to Be Needy
In the context of attracting back your ex, yes.

Go to “All Articles” in the menu and select “Attachment Anxiety & Avoidant Ex” category or type “attachment anxiety” in the search tool and read the articles that come up.


Best Response to An Ex On A Rebound (If You Want Them Back)
I know… 😉


Signs Your Ex Is Moving On (Has Moved On)
Type “emotional connection” in the search tool and there are several articles on how to emotionally connect with an ex. My book ‘Dating Your Ex” also has examples of how to go about making an emotional connection. But if you want more specific advice tailored to your unique situation, your ex’s personality and your ex’s attachment style, I am happy to coach you on how to emotionally connect with him and move things forward.


10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Your Ex
Spend time on this site and you’ll learn how. Balancing closeness and respect for the other’s boundaries is exactly what the site is about.


More from Yangki Akiteng

My Ex Started Initiating Contact But I’m Confused

Question: My ex has started initiating contact and has been contacting me...
Read More