Why The End Of A Relationship Hurts So Much

why-a-break-up-hurts-so-muchAre you hurting because of a break-up? Do you feel like your world has come to an end?  Can’t get over an old love?

You are not weak or a loser and there is nothing wrong with you.

According to a resent research published on Science Daily (Aug. 27, 2010), the events that end up being most important in our lives, the events that bring us the most happiness and also carry the potential for the most pain, are social events — moments of connecting to others and feeling their connections to us.

Shira Gabriel, PhD, associate professor of psychology at UB Gabriel says that much research in social psychology has explicitly or implicitly implied that events experienced independent of other individuals are central to explaining our most intense emotional experiences.

“We found, however, “she says, “that it was not independent events or individual achievements like winning awards or completing tasks that affected participants the most, but the moments when close relationships began or ended; when people fell in love or found a new friend; when a loved one died or broke their hearts. In short, it was the moments of connecting to others that that touched peoples’ lives the most.”

Gabriel’s research and expertise focuses on the social nature of the self, including social aspects of self-construal, the social functions of the self, the need to belong and gender differences in strategies for connecting to others.

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