Why Is My Ex Posting On Social Media That She’s Moved On?

Question: Why is my ex posting on Instagram that she’s moving on with her life?

My ex had stopped posting on social media soon after the break-up and for a month but now she’s back on Instagram posting that’s moved on. She posts love quotes about being happy, moving on and loving again. I haven’t posted anything on Instagram about her or the breakup. So yesterday she posts something about never being more in love this time around. Well, it’s been only a month since we broke up. Could she really have met someone that quickly and deeply fallen in love? Btw, we were together for 4 years on and off.

Yangki’s Answer: Research shows that social-media usage tends to increase immediately after a breakup among who have higher social media use people. They use social media to cope with the stress of the breakup and feeling all alone or as a form of passive aggressive revenge. But exes can also sometimes stop using social media because they do not want know what they’re ex is doing and/or obsess over it, see mutual friends commenting and liking an ex’s posts etc.

Her posting love quotes, being happy, moving on with her life and loving again on Instagram is what is known as thrive-positing. Social media thrive-posting after the breakup is when an ex acts like they’re simply posting about their “happy” life, connecting with friends, self-worth or personal grown without mentioning the breakup. Often what they’re doing is trying hard to convince others (especially an ex) and themselves that they’re okay, and the breakup isn’t affecting them that much.

In other words, don’t believe everything your ex posts on social media. An ex posting about their happy life on Instagram or flaunting a new relationship on social media just after a breakup is masking how they really feel, is attention-seeking to boost their feelings of worth or playing mental games an an attempt to get back at an ex. 

Now, if your ex is a fearful avoidant, it’s possible that she’s she met someone that quickly and on a rebound. I wrote an article bout fearful avoidants rebounding weeks or even days after the breakup, so it’s not totally out of character for your ex to think that she moved on, found love and is more in love this time around. But since it’s just over a month since the breakup, it’s obviously a rebound relationship, if there is one at all.

She could also just be thrive-positing because she’s feeling rejected and/or lonely. Studies show that lonely people are more likely to overshare information or personal thoughts on social media and to over-disclose themselves in public (Al-Saggaf & Nielsen, 2014).

My advice is don’t respond or react in anyway. If this is her trying to regain her self-worth after the breakup, this will force her to start the process of healing instead of distracting herself from the pain. If she’s somehow trying to send you a message or trigger you to reach out, engaging her on social media may encourage her to keep contact via Instagram instead of directly reaching out.

But just for argument’s sake, let’s say she has met someone. If she thinks she’s already so deeply in love with him, it’s not a good sign for the rebound relationship, for her personally and for any future relationship with you. People who fall in love so quickly and easily also fall out so quickly and easily.

In short, ignore her Instagram posts. She’ll be forced to contact you directly, then you can talk about whatever it is she’s trying to tell you, if at all. You could also try directly reaching out to her and see if she’ll respond.

RELATED:

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11 replies on “Why Is My Ex Posting On Social Media That She’s Moved On?”
  1. says: Steve Andre

    So my ex reached out 2 hours after I posted something about a breakup is sometimes a blessing and opportunity to look at yourself and grow. We broke up 1.5 weeks ago and haven’t had any contact except watching each other’s stories. She has blocked or unfollowed me. Do you think my post triggered her?

    1. says: Love Doctor Yangki Akiteng

      I don’t know if triggered is the right word, but there is a direct correlation between your post and her reaching out 2 hours later. She may have thought the post was about her and reached out to see if you’ll mention the breakup, reached out to check if your post meant you’d moved on, or like many anxiously attached and fearful avoidants do, she saw it as an opportunity t reach out

  2. says: Bobby

    My ex is posting on Instagram about break up, move on quotes sometimes is a lyric of a song like “No easy love could ever make me feel the same- One republic – Wherever I go” I can’t understand why. And for the record she has a new boyfriend and it seems everything’s going fine between them.

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

      That’s the passive aggressive nature of social media. Sometimes you don’t know if the message is intended for you, or just her thoughts/feelings and has nothing to do with you.

  3. says: Zoxox

    My ex posts things to mutual FB friends that she knows I will see and will hurt me. I quit FB altogether because if I can’t see what she is doing, how she is moving on, and can’t talk to her, my recovery will be so much easier.

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

      You do what you think helps you heal… as long as you are not harbouring any illusions of it somehow bringing you closer.

  4. says: Kovan Baldwin

    My ex told me that she wants me to move on but admits she is confused and still doesn’t know what she wants. She just feels its best for me to move on. I’m not sure if I need to really move on or down the road try and get her back

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

      That’s up to you to decide. I think it’s a bad idea to outsource important decisions about your life.

  5. says: Shenti

    It’s hard when you have mutual friends and they are commenting and liking what my ex posts on social media which she does a lot. It increases the complexity to the situation.

  6. says: Kenny

    My situation is exactly the opposite, my ex can’t leave me alone. I blocked her number and put in all measure to block her off FB. So now she calls me on random numbers.

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