Question: Hi me and my ex bf broke up for 3 months now. I am his first serious gf. He asked me if we can be friends because he doesn’t want to lose me. He always the one who text me first and sometimes he asks me to hang out with him. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. And I have no idea why he asked that. He seems to wonder what I’m doing too. He asks me where I am going and with who. And he still kept the things that I gave it to him. I don’t know what’s his intention. but I know that he has a gf already but she is just in another state. So I am really confused.
Yangki’s Answer: I can see why this is confusing for you. He says he doesn’t want to lose you but has some else. He asks you if you’re talking to someone else but seems perfectly okay with him talking and hanging out with another woman. He wonders what you’re doing, where you’re going and with whom but it does not seem to bother him that you KNOW what he is doing and who he is DOING it with.
Do you really even have to ask what his intentions are?
If your confusion is, is he still interested in you… the answer is he probably is, but not enough interest to want to be with you (at this time). Sure, you were his first serious girlfriend, but people move on from firsts all the time. In fact, very few ‘lucky’ people marry their first loves.
And yes, she is in another state but that doesn’t mean anything. People have long distance relationships all the time.
He still has the things you gave him, so?? He probably has other things she’s giving him too.
What I’m saying is that all these things mean little if the person is not making a “serious effort ” to get you back. Too many people do all the things he is doing but have no intentions of ever getting back together! For some it’s an ego boost to know they still have that kind of effect on an ex.
You can help your confusion by asking yourself if this is what you want and need… not if this is what he wants and needs. He has what he wants for right now… a new girlfriend and you hanging to his words and actions. Why would he want to change that? Think about what YOU want. Are you okay with the small “tokens” of what looks like love?
If you are okay with it, it’s not my place to tell you otherwise. Just make sure you are not seeing what you want to see and ignoring all the other things you don’t want to see.