Question: We had a phone session last week and I feel I really learned a lot about myself and about my ex’s attachment styles. We have a business together and as a result have daily text contact, but he was really cold yesterday. I remember you mentioning he’s going to be hot and cold with me because of what I put him through. I just feel afraid to bring up other topics without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells.
Also I’ve noticed that he doesn’t text me on weekends at all, is there a reason for this? The texting resumes Monday since it’s a working day, so I’m wondering if there’s a reason for that and how I can get him to a point where he would want to text me on weekends.
Yangki’s Answer: As long as you avoid topics related to the break-up, the relationship, getting back together or topics that seem like you are probing into his “private” life, you should be okay bringing up other topics of interest. Just make sure they are emotionally connecting because contact that doesn’t stir up pleasant emotions is just contact – it doesn’t create any forward momentum.
As with most people, in the beginning, until his interest picks up, it’s a hit and miss on many topics. You may also find that things that what used to interest him may not interest him anymore because that’s just how human beings are. We grow, we evolve, we change.
There are several reasons he may not be texting you on weekends including weekends remind him of you and make him miss you more, he has more interesting things to do (or wants you to think he has), he does not want to encourage you to text him on weekends etc.
If this is a pattern you have noticed, then don’t text him on weekends. If you are living your life, doing your own things (including on weekends), not hearing from him on the weekends should not bother you so much because it doesn’t stop you from doing what makes you happy.