Why Doesn’t My Ex Text Back On Weekends?

Question: We had a phone session last week and I feel I really learned a lot about myself and about my ex’s attachment styles. We have a business together and as a result have daily text contact, but he was really cold yesterday. I remember you mentioning he’s going to be hot and cold with me because of what I put him through. I just feel afraid to bring up other topics without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells.

Also I’ve noticed that he doesn’t text me on weekends at all, is there a reason for this? The texting resumes Monday since it’s a working day, so I’m wondering if there’s a reason for that and how I can get him to a point where he would want to text me on weekends.

Yangki’s Answer: As long as you avoid topics related to the break-up, the relationship, getting back together or topics that seem like you are probing into his “private” life, you should be okay bringing up other topics of interest. Just make sure they are emotionally connecting because contact that doesn’t stir up pleasant emotions is just contact – it doesn’t create any forward momentum.

As with most people, in the beginning, until his interest picks up, it’s a hit and miss on many topics. You may also find that things that what used to interest him may not interest him anymore because that’s just how human beings are. We grow, we evolve, we change.

There are several reasons he may not be texting you on weekends including weekends remind him of you and make him miss you more, he has more interesting things to do (or wants you to think he has), he does not want to encourage you to text him on weekends etc. But it’s also possible he’s following one of those outdated dating rules about texting on weekends, which doesn’t make sense considering that everyone is different. Some exes actually prefer you reaching out (and are more responsive and engaged) on weekends when they’re more relaxed. If you are following the advice not to text an ex on the weekends, and only texting on week days when they may be busy and/or stressed with work stuff, you miss the opportunity to connect and build momentum.

Another reason your ex may not be texting back on weekends is he’s an avoidant and trying to control how close you get by controlling texting behaviour.

The important thing in my opinion is an ex’s pattern of behaviour when it comes to the best day of the week and best time of the day to reach out. With some exes you get more engagement on weekdays and with others on weekends. Some exes prefer early morning texts while others prefer texting later in the day, in the evening or late at night.

Since his pattern seems to be that he texts back on Monday, don’t text him on weekends. You can also text him on the weekend, but not expect a response until Monday. If you are living your life, doing your own things (including on weekends), not hearing from him on the weekends should not bother you so much because it doesn’t stop you from doing what makes you happy.

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