Question: My ex wanted to be friends but I was still too hurt over the breakup and told her I needed to heal and get over her. Being “friends” would keep me from moving on because I would be hoping for a reconciliation. She said she understood and she wanted me to feel free to contact her when I was ready. 3 months later, I was feeling better and myself again, and contacted her. We’ve been in contact for a little over 3 weeks. The conversations are nice and all, but I get really angry when she says she’s happy we are friends. I’m still in love with her and don’t want her thinking of me as a friend.
Yangki’s Answer: You can’t blame her for thinking that you are now just friends.
You set her up to it by telling her you needed time to “get over” her. She now believes that you are “over her” and ready to be just friends, otherwise you would not have contacted her.
Instead of getting angry, see if you can use this as an opportunity to re-acquaint yourself and get her interested in you again.
If you make it an issue at this stage, she’ll back off and stop responding altogether. Any possibility you might have had of getting out of the “friend-zone” and getting her back will be lost.
So be friendly but keep testing the boundaries of the “friendship” to make sure they remain flexible enough to eventually get yourself out. It gets harder and harder to get yourself out of the friendzone once the boundaries tighten.
This site will help with “being friends” with an ex.