Question: Yangki, I’ve been using Facebook anymore to make my ex notice me. After the breakup I changed my profile picture, and he commented that it was stunning. I posted more pictures of me showing me as happy and enjoying life. He sees that many guys post in my timeline and like my pictures. I also initiate conversations by sending him a link via Facebook chat.
In your reply to Debs you said ‘”happy picture doesn’t equal a better partner, and that it does not convince an ex that the relationship can work”. Are you saying I should block him? I still love him very much and don’t want to do anything that’ll ruin my chances.
Yangki’s Answer: I’m not saying don’t use Facebook. I recognize that for some people, FB is how they are more comfortable communicating. The fact that he takes the time to comment says there is still some interest there. It may just be him trying to catch your attention for personal reasons, or it may be his way of showing you he is thinking about you.
That said, if you want him back, pictures and hints here and there about your life posted in FB, though it says you are happy and enjoying your life, doesn’t say much about if the relationship can work or not. Your ex didn’t break-up with you because you were sad and depressed, and he’s not going to come back because you are happy in a photo.
What your ex needs to see (and is impossible to see in a picture) is that those issues that caused the break-up in the first place, are no longer an issue. But more importantly, he needs to see that there is some value that you bring to the relationship this time round, that will make the relationship work.
Does my ex not liking my photos on social media mean something? He said he wasn’t trying to imply anything by not liking, but then shouldn’t he like them? Am I overanalyzing this?
Yes you are. He is your ex, whatever expectation you had of each other when you were together ended when you broke up. He doesn’t have to ‘like’ your photos, and it doesn’t mean anything when he ‘likes’ them and doesn’t mean anything when he doesn’t. Over analyzing your ex’s every word or action is an exercise in futility.