Question: I am mid 30’s male, average looking, in good physical shape and outgoing but women just seem not to be sexually attracted to me. Women often tell me that I’m a “nice guy” and any woman would be lucky to have me. I’ve had many relationships in the past where I’ve become “good” friends with the women I’m sexually attracted to and with all her friends/buddies. Many times I just ended up staying in the friend zone and then she’d find some other guy who had nothing to do with her girl-buddies. I don’t want to be the “buddy” that women hang out with. What can I do to avoid falling into this trap?
You know the saying: Familiarity breeds contempt… yeah. Your desperate need to be liked is breeding contempt. Needy behaviour that makes you act like one of her girl-buddies (to use your own phrase) may get you a spot in the “buddy club” but that’s just about it, no pass to the bedroom.
There are several things you can do to break the destined to friend-zone spell. Here are the two top ones, without which, you will always be the ‘friend” woman like to have but not to sleep with.
1. Confidence in yourself is a key thing for many women
Research shows that within the first fifteen seconds, a woman will have decided (sub-consciously) if she will give a guy a chance to try to “make her fall in love” or not. What determines that is his confidence.
And it’s not just confidence in approaching women or some fake “pick-up (con) artist” confidence. Confidence in yourself as man living his life to the fullest and fulfilling his dreams, goals and passions. This is way sexier to almost all woman that someone too concerned about how he appears to women.
2. Confidence in your sexuality is the key to the bedroom
Sexuality is not just about sex; sexuality is about how you exist as a sexual being. How you command, control and manage your sexual energy, and where you focus it (read: Natural Sexual Confidence)
If you are friends, you are already the person she confides in and is most comfortable around, all you have to do is let her see you as a sexual being. Tell her how you feel. She probably already knows you are attracted to her but wants to hear you say it. Also compliment her, make eye contact, flirt, tease, poke her arm gently when you tease etc.
You have to make it crystal clear to her that you’re interested in her as a ‘woman” and not as “just a friend”. Stop doing things with her and her buddies. However badly you want to hang out with her (and her buddies) separate yourself from the “buddy club”, at least until you are officially her “boyfriend”.
It may help to ask some of your closer women pals just where you’re going wrong and then put yourself to work on your confidence.
These articles will help: 5 Bad Boy Traits Women Find Attractive