Question: Yangki, in your experience are there cases where an ex does not come back? As a coach how do you approach advising someone in that position?
Yangki’s Answer: Yes, absolutely there are cases where an ex does not come back. In fact, more exes don’t come back compared to those that do.
I know, it’s depressing when a “get your ex back expert” says the chances of not getting your ex back are higher than the chances of getting him or her back. But that’s just a fact.
In my experience, the two biggest reasons why exes don’t come back are:
1. The relationship has run it’s course, or is so damaged that no advice, program or technique will work. It’s done.
The damage is sometimes done post break-up — pleading, begging and with ‘no-contact’.
2. Men and women who just can’t get out of their own way. It doesn’t matter what advice I give, it’s like they are programmed to self-sabotage.
As a coach, these are variables beyond my control. This why I insist that 1) you do personal self-work and 2) re-establish contact before signing up to work with me. I do not want to take anyone’s money when there is no chance that the ex will respond beyond curiosity stage.
As mentioned in Do Exes Really Ever Come Back, I approach my work as a coach with no delusions or assumptions:
1) This is what we have to work with. I look at both the good and the bad.
2) What can we build on or change to make this a success.
How much there is to build on or change differs from situation to situation. This is why the same exact advice works for some people and doesn’t for others. Some people have more to build on than others.