Question: Someone I was with for over a year broke up with me because they could not handle the “stress” and said that they were too worried all the time. They said they wanted to stay friends multiple times and two times we talked about serious matters (never about us or anything like that) and they requested to talk on the phone and was not quick to hang up.
At the end they asked if we could still be friends and I stated “You left me when I needed someone the most. Not even a friend does that.” And we have not talked since and quickly after my ex started dating someone else but I have been told it is not the same between them as it was between he and I. I am not interested in getting back with this person, but I am curious about the feelings I guess. Is he on a rebound? Is he regretting the breakup? Also why did he want to talk to me if he had made up his mind to move on? Thank-you.
Yangki’s Answer: There is obviously a lot of history to this, but to answer to what you’re curious about. I do not know what his feelings are. No one really knows what any one’s feelings are unless the person feeling them says what they are.
I can only try to piece pieces of information you’ve given me and what I know about this type of situations to try to make sense of what’s going on.
My take is that your ex may have hoped that things might work between you but was not sure if the “stress” problem was behind him. He may have wanted to use the “let’s be friends” zone to try and gauge for himself if things would be different this time. You obviously were either still hurting because of what happened or angry that he left you when you needed him most, and you turned the “let’s be friends” request down.
Note: I’m not saying what you did was right or wrong. You did what you felt was right for you at the time!
He may have concluded things would just be the same – stressful — and decided to date someone new. Whether his new relationship is a rebound or not remains to be seen.
Now I’m also curious about your feelings… if you are not interested in getting back with him, why does what is happening in his new relationship even concern you? As long as you are still “curious” about his feelings, you will never move on. Your ex on the other hand may have actually moved on even if he still has feelings for you – and I’m not saying he has or does not have feelings for you. I don’t know. What I do know is that someone can still be in love but not want a relationship with that person — for so many various reasons.
