Question: My ex of 1.5 years left me a week after we returned from a vacation of a life time. I was completely blind sided when he told me he was breaking up with me; and moving out of the apartment we rented together. There was no fighting or him pulling away from me. 2 days before he broke up with me, he told me he loved me. He cried a lot during the breakup and said he loved me but this was something he needed to do for himself. He also didn’t know if I was the one. I have agonized over this for days but I have also told him I need space right now. I can’t move on with my life if we continue contacting each other.
My question is: Why did my ex cry and say he loved me? Am I making things worse by asking for space?
Yangki’s Answer: Break-ups are hard to deal with but it’s even harder when your ex says they love you, cries about it; and still breaks up with you.
There are many reasons why exes cry during the break-up; in your case it’s obvious that your ex was conflicted. Him crying says he still loves you and probably thought about it for a while; and finally decided to break-up. He did it knowing that he was hurting you and hurting himself, and it made him feel awful.
He may not know himself why he felt he needed to break-up with you. Whether you intend to get him back or move on, I don’t think that trying to find the explanation for what happened and how it happened is doing you any good. Some things happen for a reason, some things happen for reasons we have not thought of or can explain, and sometimes things happen for no reason at all.
My advice is for you to stop agonizing over the “why did my ex cry and say he loved me” and work on accepting what happened. Not agree with it or like it but accept it.
As for needing your space, if you feel this will help you heal, then that’s what you must do. I’ve said it here many times, some of us can heal very well and fast even with contact with an ex, and some of us can’t. It’s a choice we each make for ourselves.