When It’s Not Rude to NOT Respond To Your Ex’s Texts

At any other time and under different circumstances, it is not necessarily rude to ignore a text or email from your ex. But if you are trying to get back with your ex, ignoring your ex is a mistake that’ll come back to bite you.

Human beings in general do not forget when they’ve been treated badly. They’ll forgive and they’ll even “move past” it, but they never forget. With an ex who is emotionally guarded (afraid they may get hurt again), one who does not trust you or thinks you are into mind games, ignoring their text/emails just confirms what they already think of you. Not smart.

But not every text from your ex requires a response. This is something I have to remind my anxiously attached clients who feel the need to respond to every text and even one words responses or emoji texts. Replying to text messages that don’t require a response sends the message that you are anxiously waiting for your ex to text you and/or are desperate for attention.

In these 8 instances, it is not rude to not respond to your ex’s texts or reach out:

1. When contact is not directed to you in particular e.g. group texts or forwards

A reply may not be required/expected, but if it’s important information that your ex is sharing, e.g news about a mutual friend/family member (birth, wedding, divorce, illness, death etc), it’s polite to say, “Thanks for letting me know” or something along those lines. But otherwise ignore them. Your ex isn’t looking for a conversation.

2. When a topic of conversation has run it’s course 

It’s normal for a conversation to die or try out, and most people can tell that there is not much more to talk about and the conversations needs to wind down. Trying to hang on to the conversation because you don’t want to let go of your ex comes across as clingy, and can be a turn off, especially with avoidants.

3. After  you have bid your goodbyes for the day or night

It is not rude not to respond to a text after you’ve said your goodbyes. What usually happens is when you respond, the other person does not reply back. Continuing to text long after your ex stopped responding is a little needy/clingy.

4. Intentionally hurtful texts with no purpose other than to make you feel bad

Emotional dumping is not healthy behaviour, and yu should not encourgage it. The exception is when a ex who feels deeply hurt by something you said or did  lashes out purely from the emotions of pain. Say you cheated, responding even when your ex is being intentionally hurtful is taking responsibility for your actions. It is the price you pay for your  cheating.

5. Texts that seem like mind game playing

Your ex contacts you then disappears, and after a few weeks contacts you again, and then… disappears AGAIN – Not responding sends the message, “What you’re doing is not acceptable”.

6. Late night texts and drunk texts with no follow-up during the day/no real interest in deeper conversations

“Scratch my itch” texts and calls may be fluttering, but they’re not going to get the two of you back together. In fact sometimes not always, sex gets in the way of getting back together.

8. Texts baiting you to contact them

For example: “I have something interesting to share/tell you”. If something is that interesting for someone to reach out to tell you how interesting it is, why don’t they just tell you what it is?  Why do you  have to “beg” for them to tell you? This is obviously someone insecure looking for attention and an ego boost. You stroke their ego at your own expense.

RELATED:

7 Instances When You Should Respond To Your Ex Quickly – Don’t Wait!

8 Instances When It’s OK to Wait To Text Back Your Ex