What Makes A Fearful Avoidant Change? How Do You Speed Things Up? (VIDEO)

Very few people like to be told to change who they are. Even if they know there are behaviours or habits they need to change, they will very likely become de

If you were together, it’d be easy to say, “If you don’t change, I am breaking up with you”, but the break-up has already happened, an ultimatum is useless even if you disguise it as showing your ex that you care for their well-being.

And if you are dealing with an avoidant, fearful or dismissive, they will resist anything that requires them to connect with their deepest emotions.

It’s best to talk about this in person or phone, but if that’s not possible, texting is just as good.

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  1. says: Becca

    Great advice. And very needed right now. I worry about sharing this with my ex tho. he is dismissive avoidant and I tried once to talk to him about attachment styles and he got mad that I was questioning his character and tried to convince me that no one should depend on anyone else. But listening to you, I may have approached it the wrong way by talking about his attachment style instead of mine. I will try again, but this time talk about my experience.

  2. says: Emma

    I am AP with FA. In the 5 years we have been together he broke it off 13 times but would always come back to each other. What has really helped us is becoming self aware of our attachment issues and being willing to openly work on them. We have been dating again for 2.3months without deactivation, the longest we have stayed together and it feels really great, we both feel safe with each other.