Question:My ex and I kept in contact after the break-up and still hang out from time to time. We were together for nearly four years and are best friends and it just didn’t make sense not to stay in contact. She broke up with me but a couple of weeks later said she wanted to us to work things out. In the beginning I really wanted to work things out with her but I’ve developed feelings for a woman from my workplace. My question is, do I tell my ex or do I just slowly disengage and let her figure it out for herself?
Yangki’s Answer: If things are that serious between you and this other woman, and you think she might be the one, my suggestion is to tell your ex about it. Be honest with her. Sometimes finding out that someone was doing things behind our back hurts more than what the person actually did. And since you are best friends which I take to mean you really care about her, just leaving her in the dark to figure things out for herself wouldn’t be acting like a friend who cares.
Giving her the choice to decide what’s best for her will give you peace of mind as you explore things with the new woman.
It’s a risk of course to tell her about the new woman, your ex may not want to hang around until you have yourself sorted out. You most of all can appreciate that she has to do what is best of her just as you have to do what is best for you.