Question: I admit I did all the things I should not have done. I begged, pleaded, told her I love her, texted her every hour. I then went into no contact for two and half months. I did not contact her at all and she did not try to contact me either. I want to contact her to try to get her back. Friends who know both of us have told me she’s not seeing anyone. My question for you is: What are my chances of getting her back? I don’t want to contact her and have my heart broken again. Also how long should I wait before I send her another text? I read in another blog that to give her exactly 72 hours. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Yangki’s Answer: If you’re asking me if you have a chance of getting her back just because you’ve successfully done no contact for two and a half months, my answer is “NO!” No, because you’re focusing on something that has no real value in getting your ex back. She broke up with you for a reason or reasons, and until you can show her (in action) and she’s convinced herself that the “reason” or “reasons” will no longer be a problem, you’ve basically wasted two and half months for nothing!
Again, 7 minutes or 72 hours doesn’t make much difference in terms of your success getting her back. Like I said before, you’re focusing on all the wrong things in trying to get your ex back. You’re too much focused on the “procedure” to the detriment of the outcome.
My advice is, contact her when you feel most calm, positive and focused, and talk for as long as there is something important or interesting to talk about. End the conversation when you find yourself just hanging on to the phone to keep her on the phone. It’s when you’re grasping for things to talk about (acting from a place of desperation, clinginess, neediness or loneliness) that you’re most likely to “overdo” yourself and even self-destruct.
I hate to say this because blowing the last candle of hope is not something I like to do, but my experience is has taught me that people who are too focused on “procedure” usually do not get their ex back because they’re not good at adjusting to the ever-changing reality that getting back an ex requires.