It could be push-pull as discussed in the book, but …

Comment on How to Trigger Emotions That Make Him Want You More by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng.

It could be push-pull as discussed in the book, but it could also just be that he’s stressed out because of work. The way you know it is the push/pull phase is if there is actually pushing and pulling — him drawing so close and then pulling away suddenly. Otherwise if it’s just him getting more and more distant without the drawing close (pulling), then you need to talk to him about it, again. Not complain or blame, but simply tell him you understand that this could just be about his job, and want to be there for him, but you don’t know how, since you feel like he’s pulling away from you. Tell him how much he means to you and ask if there is something both of you can do to protect the relationship.

Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng Also Commented

How to Trigger Emotions That Make Him Want You More
It’s not just the ONE time verbal abuse, it’s also that you are apologizing instead of him apologizing for his outburst, and you are the one trying to “trigger positive emotions” instead of the other way round. This is a typical abuse situation, where the abused is the one trying to make everything okay, even justifying the abuse. It just doesn’t feel right… to me.

At the end of the day, it’s your relationship. You can defend it or you can do something to make it healthy… “triggering positive emotions” isn’t going to do it. Anger that results in verbal abuse comes from deep strong emotions that can only be dealt with by him — and HIM only.

Again, I’m sorry. This blog can’t help you with what you really need help with. The best advice I can give you is… please, get proper help.

How to Trigger Emotions That Make Him Want You More
Let me get this right….He abuses you, you tell him you could forgive him, he refuses to “discuss” this with you, and you want advice on how to ” trigger positive emotions?”

You are in serious denial… abusive relationships/upbringing is NO excuse for abusing someone else. And there is NO such things as ” just” abused. Abuse is abuse. And if he has this “childhood history of abuse” he’s not going to stop unless he gets help. In fact it’s going to get worse.

As much as I want to be of help, I’m not comfortable encouraging an abusive/dysfunctional relationship. That makes me a participant in it. I’m sorry. You need help that I can’t give you.

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