When trying to get back your ex, not acting needy or pushy can only take you so far. At some point, you’ll notice your ex’s interest stall.
Your are not acting needy, are taking things slow, not bringing up the old relationship, not asking to get back together or doing any of the things you are not supposed to do, but your ex’s interest is not increasing.
It’s like things got to a certain point, and stayed there.
The answer is simple. You have nothing new to bring to the relationship.
Look at it this way. You have been shopping for the car of your dreams for years and happened on just the right car at your local dealership. You take it for a test ride and the first few miles are a total bliss.
Then you start noticing the car makes a little too much noise, the seat is a little too hard, the brakes don’t work too well etc.
You tell the dealership that you really like the car. It’s the right model, colour and everything, but it needs some work. They tell you to come back in two weeks but when you return, nothing has been done on the car or only some things have been worked on.
Would you take the car home with all the work that still needs be done?
Now think of an ex who ended the relationship because there were some things about you or the relationship that they were not happy about. They may even still love you but don’t want to try things again because they just can’t see how they can be in a relationship with you when nothing has changed.
My point is: If all you are doing is pushing to get back together because you are scared that your ex will move on or counting how many days before your next contact, you are completely missing the point.
To get your ex’s interest again, you have to take him or her for another text drive, only this time make him or her question (with interest) what they think they already know about you. The catch is that you can only do that if something about you has improved, is new or has been worked on.
Since change takes time, start with small things, they add up over time.
1. Show a different side of you that your ex has never seen before.
Think of when you first met and started dating. The moments that sparked interest and/or flamed passion was when it felt like you had “discovered” someone unique and special. It’s these moments when we encounter something new and surprisingly pleasant about someone that take a relationship deeper into something more.
If you are not coming into the relationship as a new you, an improved you, a more interesting you, someone readier for a healthy and lasting relationship, you are nothing but a car that was taken for a test drive and found to have “problems” that have not been worked on.
2. Have an interesting fun life.
The thing about interesting people is that they think about interesting things, do interesting things and live interesting lives. Boring people think boring thoughts, do boring things… you get the point.
You can’t expect someone to get interested in you and your life when there is nothing interesting to be interested in, or when all you do is complain about this and that, talk about what’s wrong with your life or keep revisiting the old relationship or the break-up. What this does is weigh down your ex and make them want to get away from “all the negativity”.