When it comes to the mating game, all men and women sub-consciously look for clues to each other’s masculine and feminine qualities. But I wish they just stopped there. No! They test each other’s qualities to the dizzy limit.
A woman who expresses too much of the feminine energy is more attracted to a man expressing too much of the masculine energy because her feminine energy needs his masculine energy to restore her inner balance and harmony.
She’s turned off and/or quickly loses interest in a man who is always ambivalent, lacks direction for his life, is afraid to take risks etc.
A woman on the other hand, who expresses more of the masculine will find a man with more feminine energy more attractive because she needs more feminine energy in her life to balance off her abundance of masculine f feminine.
A man who expresses too much of his masculine energy will be turned off by a woman whose masculine energy overpowers her feminine energy because all he gets is more action, force, movement and firmness.
A man who expresses more of the feminine energy on the other hand is more likely to seek out a woman putting out more of the masculine energy. His abundant feminine energy needs more of her masculine energy to restore inner balance and harmony.
Logic says: Let the “masculine woman” pair up with the “feminine man”, and the “masculine man” with the “feminine woman”. Basic common sense. Right?
You’re right. In the initial stages of the relationship this balancing of energies works great. In fact this arrangement works great as long as the two people make sure the other does not upset the balance of energies. That is, the masculine energy of the man stays dominant, and the feminine energy of the woman stays dominant. The man stays aggressive, rigid, forceful, firm and risk-taking and the women stays flexible, creative, sensitive, introspective, and nurturing.
Or in the reverse pair, the woman continues to be the aggressive, forceful, firm, risk-taker and the man continues to be the flexible, creative, sensitive, introspective, and nurturing one in the relationship.
And some couples with these combinations of energy do live a happy lifetime together feeding off each other’s energies.
The spoiler in this perfect harmony is change.
If one partner suddenly starts feeling the need to find his or her own balance of energies, that need leads to growth which inevitably leads to change. The balance is upset. The “perfect” relationship starts having yin-yang imbalance problems.
— You find that a woman who was initially perfectly happy with a man expressing too masculine energy now starts complaining about his coldness, insensitivity and emotional unavailability. He wants him to express more of his feminine energy and be more warm, open with his emotions, sensitive to her needs and supportive of her interests — qualities he may not have developed..
— On the other end, a woman who was initially attracted to a man because he was sensitive, nurturing and thoughtful starts complaining about his inability to take the lead, make hard decisions, take risks, be adventurous, etc. She now wants him to be more directed and aggressive in his career, more firm and assertive about his wants and needs, and more adventurous — qualities he may not have developed.
— The man who was initially attracted to a woman because of her too much feminine energy starts complaining about her timidity, over sensitivity and over reliance on him. He now wants her to be able to make decisions without asking him, be less “emotional”, be more sexually exploratory etc.
— On the other hand, a man who initially was perfectly happy with a woman who was aggressive, forceful and who brought more action and firmness into his life now starts complaining about her bossiness and controlling behaviours, constant judgemental attitude and nit-picking, insensitivity, emotional aloofness etc.
When yin-yang imbalance problems reach a point where one person feels that the relationship is undermining his/her growth potential, they break up or get divorced.
They break up not because they no longer love each other but because the masculine and feminine energies are no longer complementing each other. These energies are instead interfering with the other’s growth and development. This is when you hear “we’re not the same people”, “we want different things”, “we are growing apart” etc.
BUT… if both people grow and change together, these energies balance off again at some point.
A lot depends on the individuals concerned – and how they handle the other’s growth and change.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees that you’ll both grow and change together — or even at the same pace. That’s why if you’re single and still looking. The best thing you can do for yourself is to reconcile your masculine and feminine energy first, so you can attract someone with equally balanced energies.
The one advantage of having your own balanced yin-yang is that you understand a lot more about the opposite gender, their thoughts, actions and behaviours because you’re already experiencing and expressing the very same energies they’re experiencing and expressing.
The other other advantage of having balanced energies is that with your masculine energy you will enjoy making the hard decisions and providing an assertive masculine lead for your partner to follow half of the time; and with your feminine energy you will enjoy supporting and following your partner’s assertive masculine lead the other half of the time.
With your feminine energy you’ll be able to intuitively tune into your partner’s deepest feelings, show concern, fluidity, creativity, sensitivity, and nurture him or her, and your yin-yang balanced partner will do the same another time.
This is the kind of relationship that will inspire love, joy, constructive communication, productivity, fulfillment and eternal gratitude. The kind of relationship that will keep the chemistry and passion between two people of the opposite gender going at it not just all night long – but for a life time!
Now go balance your yin-yang – and save your relationship!