Are Women Attracted To Great Dancers?

“I’d like to find a partner who can dance. Do you?”

Those were the only two sentences I posted on my profile on Match.Com many years ago. Two months after posting my profile, I went out with a group of fellow conference participants. It was an international conference, and talk about diversity.

This Friday night, there were five guys in our group. One was from Pakistan and the other four were white and European. Of course I had noticed them stealing looks at me, but not “my type” I told myself.

For the past two months, I had been obsessively checking my Match.Com account for the guy who’d want to be my dancing partner for life. In my mind, I knew he had to be black or Hispanic because they were the only tall, dark and handsome guys that I knew could gyrate with confidence, soul and passion — just my style.

I was checking the dance floor for the familiar dancing tall, dark and handsome guy of my dreams when one of the guys from our group — Eastern European — asked me, “Would you like to dance?”

But what followed was even more baffling. The man looked like he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He just stretched his hand like expecting me to just say yes. “What the nerve!” I thought.

But believe it or not, secretly I was excited that unlike many other guys, this guy wasn’t even slightly intimidated by me (and my puffed up ego). Not at all. He quietly and confidently led the way and that is when I started to notice (from the back) that he had one of the most beautiful sculptured bodies I’d ever seen. No Kidding. You know, the one you just want to trace your hands over… and over, and over, and over, and…

Back to what I was saying… my prejudiced narrow mindedness got its final once-for-all rude shock when he started to work his dance moves. Patrick Swayze (RIP) in the movie “Dirty Dancing” has nothing on this guy. Before long we had everyone standing in a circle and cheering us as we worked the erotic electricity. If I didn’t have no-sex-for-the-first-month rule, I’d have ended up under the sheets that very night. The electricity was so real. And to think I’d never even noticed him yet we sat in the same conference room eight hours a day for the past two weeks!!

My point, exactly? Any man who can ask a woman to dance, then take charge of what happens on the floor and move relatively smoothly to music, has such enormous sex appeal that many guys don’t yet know just how powerful this is.

Guys, there’s a message here. Forget about smart pick-up lines and all that crap about conversation starters, just go ask the woman to dance and start working your moves.

I am sure that many women will agree with me. A man’s ability to catch a woman’s eye (I am here, I am male!) from across the room, dance his way over to her (It’s you I want!) and then engage her in sensuous movement (I am not just very confident and fun to be with, I am also very passionate) in a room too loud for speech is much more interesting and incredibly sexy than a nervous and stiff man trying to shout rehearsed hand-me-down pick-up lines or conversation starters inside her ear.

A man who is comfortable on the dance floor has sex appeal that reveals a level of sexual confidence that deserves to be listed in its own category. And it’s not just me who says it. Many studies like the one at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J. have linked skillful dancing to established measures of human desirability and attractiveness. Good dancing skills boost any man’s attractiveness because dancing requires grace, poise, passion, social skills, flexibility, vulnerability and strength which are very attractive qualities — in and outside of the bedroom door.

Fat or skinny, short or tall, or not even close to good looking — even old, old, old — ask women out on the dance floor. Even if you aren’t so good at dancing, just “own” your space. This means taking control of — and feeling comfortable and confident in it. The more you feel that you own the space, the more sex appeal you will radiate.

Dancing is cost efficient and relatively painless. No surgery or blood loss. No sweaty hours at the gym. No personality makeovers needed. Just dance lessons. And in case you are wondering where to meet women, dance lessons themselves are good places to meet like minded and fun-loving singles.

Believe it or not, there is a natural seducer already inside all of us. Use your own natural instincts, sensations, emotions and desires to create very strong attraction.

What’s stopping you from becoming a dancing love magnet?


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  1. says: nb

    I’m hispanic, and it is a cultural thing to learn to dance well from a young age -Salsa, cumbia especially in Colombia. Asking women for dances is normal and expected. What helped me was learning martial arts.

    Dancing has evolutionary roots as well.