Question: Yangki, this is my first time on your blog and I’ve really resonated with your approach on relationships. I believe every relationship needs a dominant person and a submissive person but it’s not always the same person all the time. For certain things or times, one will necessarily be the dominant one, while in other times, the other will need to take the lead. Do you agree?
Yangki’s Answer: You are right about a relationship needing one person to take the lead and the other follows at one time, and the roles reversed another time. We all have qualities that if recognized by the person we’re in a relationship with, not only boosts our confidence but creates a balance that makes a relationship fulfilling.
It’s not however possible for one person to be dominant sometimes and submissive other times if the person has not taken time to develop both aspects/energies of him/herself. That’s why most dominant-all-the time people feel that they NEED (and must find) someone who is submissive-all-the time — and vice versa. That kind of match can work great until a dominant-person starts to wonder what it’d feel like to be submissive sometimes. Since the submissive partner can’t meet that need, the dominating partner will go outside of the relationship to look for another dominating person he/she can experience the submissive side of him/herself with. Same may happen for the submissive-all-the-time person.
If you’ve ever wondered why a dominant man leaves a perfectly submissive woman at home for an experience with a dominating escort (for want of a politer word), this may explain it. Same reason why a wife who seems so submissive to her husband will have a secret affair with a man she has complete power and control over.
But if you have both masculine and feminine energies fully developed in you already, and if you know which to express, what amount, when and how, you don’t have to worry about if you can be dominant sometimes and submissive other times. It happens naturally, when that role is called upon.
Couples with this balance have happy and fulfilling relationships and lives because they have the environment in which to express themselves fully and authentically.
