Some rejections are simply “I’m not interested” or “You’re not my type.” Most grown ups by a certain age know and accept that in this life, some women will think you’re cool, some men will think you’re absolutely hot – and others will think you’re not!
Most also know and accept that in the dating world, there will be people who want you to go away as quickly as possible, and others who will “play you” and string you along until you go away on your own. This applies as much to men as to women.
In other words, most grown ups do expect some rejection and many are able to take it in stride and keep moving on. But once in a while you meet that one person who feels that he or she has to go to the extent of insulting you in addition to the rejection. They call you narcissistic, crazy, selfish, a commitment phobe, boring, and other names intended to make you feel less than who you are. The temptation sometimes is to give it back as good as you get – lest you be considered weak and cowardly.
Problem with this is that most people who add insult onto rejection have serious issues of their own, and probably just looking for an opportunity to go “mental” on you. Some have nothing “interesting” going on in their lives and looking for something “exciting” to do. You give them what they want and they get to reject you, insult you and “get off” at your expense too!
My point is, just because you don’t “click” or can’t make a relationship work, there is no reason to start coming up with reasons to call the other person names. There is nothing wrong with him or her – or you for that matter – for not having made a good connection. It’s not their fault. It’s not your fault. It just what it is. Trying to look for a reason that makes sense, or someone to blame is just a waste of time and energy.
As long as you don’t get bitter and jaded, sometimes being rejected can be a good thing – for personal growth. Most of the self-assured, self-made, confident and upward mobile people I’ve met (and admire) in my life are people who’ve had to deal with lots of rejection.
Again, easy said than done, yet still possible to take an even negative experience and turn into something very positive – for you! Who knows may be you just dodged something worse.
My best teachers are the ones who have learned in their own experience that which they are teaching.
I just signed up for coaching with you 🙂