There are some true and tested signs that say an ex is becoming interested again. However, if your ex is talking to you gain, warming up to you and slowly opening up again, but they have not directly said anything to suggest they want you back, it’s hard to tell whether this are true signs your ex is interested again and slowly coming back, or if it is all in your head.
Some signs are obvious signs that show your ex is interested again, others are subtle and others are specific to the relationship or ex.
1. Your ex is open to regular contact
If our conversations go from randomly reaching out to communicating regularly over a period of time, it is a sign that your ex is becoming interested again. It does not mean your ex wants you back, it just means they are comfortable having you in their daily life – and this is always a good sign.
2. Your ex is emotionally engaged
If your conversations go from surface-level topics (how are you? how’s your day? how’s work? etc) to personal topics that include your lives, the people and things you both care about, everyday life or future plans or information they previously did not share with you, this is a good sign that your ex is becoming interested in whats going on in your life and by inference becoming interested in you again.
3. Your ex is initiating contact
An ex who is not interested will not initiate contact. They will respond politely but will not reach out because reaching out shows interest. So if you’re the one who has been initiating contact, your ex starting to initiate contact (regularly) is a good sign that they are warming up to you and taking responsibility for keeping communication going. The exception is if your ex initiates contact because they want favours, only for emotional support or sex.
4. Your ex is asking questions about your dating life
Your ex is asking questions about how you are spending your time and/or if you are dating someone else is a strong sing that they never stopped being interested or are becoming interested again. They are trying to figure out if you are still available and/or if you’re still interested in them.
5. Your ex is teasing and/or flirting with you
This is sign an ex is becoming interested again only if things have been quite tense in the past. It means that things have moved to a more emotionally safe zone. If either of you is a natural tease or flirt, it doesn’t mean much. Natural flirts tease and flirt whether they are interested in getting back together or not. It doesn’t mean anything if one or both of you see sex as the goal of the teasing/flirting.
6. Your ex is open to face-to-face interaction
If you’ve been in contact via text, email or phone calls, moving things to face-to-face meeting is an encouraging sign of an ex becoming interested again. It does not mean they want to get back together (yet), it just means you’re both comfortable being in each other’s personal space.
7. Your ex is comfortable with physical touch
The amount and degree of physical contact suggests a level of comfort with each other. This however is a little tricky as ex-sex can be very tempting even for people who have no intention of getting back together. Don’t assume that because your ex is getting all “hot” for you that they are emotionally warming up to you as well. The amount of physical touch should match the level of emotional connection, otherwise your ex may just want sex only.
8. Your ex is letting you in on their emotions
This is probably the most telling of all signs that an ex is becoming interested again. The tone, content, depth and emotion in your conversations is measure of your ex’s interest. I am not talking about the emotions or feelings about how they feel about you or getting back together. The emotions is letting you on their joys, upsets, frustrations, stress, confusion, etc. This is a sign that they feel emotionally safe around you. Feeling emotionally safe with you is a pre-requisite for getting back together.
9. Your ex is not trying to push you away
Listen for words like “remain friends”, “I don’t want us to hate each other”, “whatever happens”, “I only wish the best for you”, “You’re a special, any person would be lucky to have you”, etc. These are words common with exes who want to remain “friendly” but not looking to get back together and those looking for closure and getting ready to move on. It’s not always the case, but more often than not.
10. Your ex talks about a future with you in it
If your ex is mentioning things that suggest that you will be in contact or in each other’s lives for a while, this is a sign of interest. It doesn’t mean they are necessarily thinking of getting back together, but that they are not planning on cutting you off anytime soon. It is a sing that they may be leaving the door open for the possibility that they may change their mind as time goes on.
All this said, always remember until you’ve had the “let’s get back together” talk, you’re officially not back together. Interest is just that… interest.
Treat this whole experience as “Dating Your Ex”. It’s like you’re just starting dating only this time it’s someone you’ve dated and had a relationship with before.
Take it slow and see where it leads. Make sure you are not repeating past mistakes but creating new pleasant memories. You have a better chance of getting back together if you take a “do over” approach rather than trying to continue from where the last relationship ended (fix/mend a broken relationship).
But most importantly, keep working on yourself. The more centered, confident and positive your vibe, the more relaxed and attractive you’re to him.