10 Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again

There are some true and tested signs that say an ex is becoming interested again. However, if your ex is talking to you gain, warming up to you and slowly opening up again, but they have not directly said anything to suggest they want you back, it’s hard to tell whether this are true signs your ex is interested again and slowly coming back, or if it is all in your head.

Some signs are obvious signs that show your ex is interested again, others are subtle and others are specific to the relationship or ex.

1. Your ex is open to regular contact

If our conversations go from randomly reaching out to communicating regularly over a period of time, it is a sign that your ex is becoming interested again. It does not mean your ex wants you back, it just means they are comfortable having you in their daily life – and this is always a good sign.

2. Your ex is emotionally engaged

If your conversations go from surface-level topics (how are you? how’s your day? how’s work? etc) to personal topics that include your lives, the people and things you both care about, everyday life or future plans or information they previously did not share with you, this is a good sign that your ex is becoming interested in whats going on in your life and by inference becoming interested in you again.

3. Your ex is initiating contact

An ex who is not interested will not initiate contact. They will respond politely but will not reach out because reaching out shows interest. So if you’re the one who has been initiating contact, your ex starting to initiate contact (regularly) is a good sign that they are warming up to you and taking responsibility for keeping communication going. The exception is if your ex initiates contact because they want favours, only for emotional support or sex.

4. Your ex is asking questions about your dating life

Your ex is asking questions about how you are spending your time and/or if you are dating someone else is a strong sing that they never stopped being interested or are becoming interested again. They are trying to figure out if you are still available and/or if you’re still interested in them.

5. Your ex is teasing and/or flirting with you

This is sign an ex is becoming interested again only if things have been quite tense in the past. It means that things have moved to a more emotionally safe zone. If either of you is a natural tease or flirt, it doesn’t mean much. Natural flirts tease and flirt whether they are interested in getting back together or not. It doesn’t mean anything if one or both of you see sex as the goal of the teasing/flirting.

6. Your ex is open to face-to-face interaction

If you’ve been in contact via text, email or phone calls, moving things to face-to-face meeting is an encouraging sign of an ex becoming interested again. It does not mean they want to get back together (yet), it just means you’re both comfortable being in each other’s personal space.

7. Your ex is comfortable with physical touch

The amount and degree of physical contact suggests a level of comfort with each other. This however is a little tricky as ex-sex can be very tempting even for people who have no intention of getting back together. Don’t assume that because your ex is getting all “hot” for you that they are emotionally warming up to you as well. The amount of physical touch should match the level of emotional connection, otherwise your ex may just want sex only.

8. Your ex is letting you in on their emotions

This is probably the most telling of all signs that an ex is becoming interested again. The tone, content, depth and emotion in your conversations is measure of your ex’s interest. I am not talking about the emotions or feelings about how they feel about you or getting back together. The emotions is letting you on their joys, upsets, frustrations, stress, confusion, etc. This is a sign that they feel emotionally safe around you. Feeling emotionally safe with you is a pre-requisite for getting back together.

9. Your ex is not trying to push you away

Listen for words like “remain friends”, “I don’t want us to hate each other”, “whatever happens”, “I only wish the best for you”, “You’re a special, any person would be lucky to have you”, etc. These are words common with exes who want to remain “friendly” but not looking to get back together and those looking for closure and getting ready to move on. It’s not always the case, but more often than not.

10. Your ex talks about a future with you in it

If your ex is mentioning things that suggest that you will be in contact or in each other’s lives for a while, this is a sign of interest. It doesn’t mean they are necessarily thinking of getting back together, but that they are not planning on cutting you off anytime soon. It is a sing that they may be leaving the door open for the possibility that they may change their mind as time goes on.

All this said, always remember until you’ve had the “let’s get back together” talk, you’re officially not back together. Interest is just that… interest.

Treat this whole experience as “Dating Your Ex”. It’s like you’re just starting dating only this time it’s someone you’ve dated and had a relationship with before.

Take it slow and see where it leads. Make sure you are not repeating past mistakes but creating new pleasant memories. You have a better chance of getting back together if you take a “do over” approach rather than trying to continue from where the last relationship ended (fix/mend a broken relationship).

But most importantly, keep working on yourself. The more centered, confident and positive your vibe, the more relaxed and attractive you’re to him.


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  1. says: Sab

    Yangki, I have been following your advice and have gone from no contact to some form of contact over the last two weeks. We have started emotionally connecting though our interest in movies. Today he initiated contact with “Have you seen the movie yet?” in reference to a movie we chatted about. This is his first ever initiating contact since we broke up 9 weeks ago. Should I wait a couple of days and then reply?

  2. says: Champ44

    Yangki, my ex is also showing a little bit more of an interest than usual. We broke up due to me not showing her affection. I started to do the things you say to trigger her emotions and her texts started getting friendly and a little flirty. We talk every day normally just one text but sometimes 3 or 4 in one day. She also started calling me by my nickname and has told me she misses us and is happy how things are just like in the beginning of our relationship. I know she is not interested as just a friend because she has said in the past she’s very attracted to me to be just friends.

  3. says: Lee

    Yangki, we had phone chat a month ago and since then things have been moving forward. We have met several times and chatted. She’s actually called me few times for advice but I kept it short. Last week she texted me and asked me out for lunch. She will go out with me during day time but still won’t let me take her out to dinner. We hug but she won’t kiss me. Should I worry?

    1. Unfortunately, a month ago is a long time in my world… I hear so many stories and sometimes they get all mixed up in my head. So forgive me if I can’t remember our conversation.

      Depending on why you broke up and at what stage of the process you are in, her not wanting to go out to dinner and not wanting to kiss you may mean its too early in the process for that level of “connection” (things may change with time), or it could mean she now sees you as “just a friend”.

  4. says: Mailo

    I actually have your Dating your ex ebook and following your advice. I tried many other programs and i just pushed her further away. I can honestly say i see some progress that’s why i keep keeping on. i may contact you for coaching one of these days, just have to put the funds together first. But thanks for all your help.

  5. says: Mailo

    She told me we’ll never get back together yet her actions say otherwise. We still hang out and some days the conversations get a little flirty. She holds my hand and sometimes even kisses me on the cheek. Moving on probably would be the logical thing to do here, but I think I’m going to keep trying.

    1. Looks like she still likes you but not sure she wants to be in a relationship with you. I admire your spirit of keep keeping on, however, just “not giving up” is not enough. What are you trying? I’ve seen men and women hang in there with an ex only to be told “there is now someone else”. Many feel hurt but what did they expect? Someone else who knew what to “try” came and stole the show! It’s the things that you’re trying (and not trying) that make the difference between she just “likes you” and “she’s again interested in you”.

  6. says: Akuof

    Hi Yangki, it’s been some time since we last spoke and I wanted to give you a
    quick update as well as ask for advice. There have been some new developments since we spoke. I saw her again for coffee and tried really hard to follow your advice and kept communication open, but not in a needy way. Afterwards she sent me a random message and that got us exchanging messages the whole day. My question is, should I ask her out again or wait? The last meeting we had was 10 days ago,.

  7. says: xman

    I worked so hard to get her interested again and she was showing all the signs you list. But I must have said or done something that has made her pull back. Can I get her interested again?

  8. says: Joeho

    Yangki, I’m so glad I found your site. My ex and I are friends and adults, so no contact did not make sense to both of us. We actually had a talk about it and agreed it was not for us. After the breakup we continued to hang out a few times a week but I think started to push to get back together so soon because she asked that we take a break for two weeks. That’s when I found your site and book. We’re talking again and plan to meet this weekend. It’s our first meeting since the break-up, any tips on how to not mess things up? 🙂

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