Sexual Energy and Body Language

sexual-body-language-and-sexual-energyDid you know that you can predict with 90% accuracy if a man or woman is good or lousy in the bedroom even before you date him/her?

I posed this question to participants in one of my workshops and this is a summary of the answers I got from the women: I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks and dances. If he is stiff and clumsy, I know he will be single-minded and clumsy in bed too. If he wobbles or rubs feet on the ground when he walks, I know he’ll be lazy, boring and I have to direct him in bed.”

And this is what the men said: I can see if a woman is good in bed by how comfortable she is in her own body. If she is confident, relaxed and happy with her body, weight, cup size and all that, I know she will be confident and relaxed in bed too. Another interesting answer I got from one man is: I can tell if she is good in bed just by the way she eats, if she is gingerly picking her food, I know I am going to get too many “not now” and if she is gulping her food absent mindedly, I can tell she is going to “fake” orgasms.”

All this is very interesting. But when I asked both men and women what they use to “read” people’s sexual vibes a majority said body language but a few said they “just know”.

There is a much more complex angle to reading sexual energy than reading body language. If you’ve been observant, you’ll have noticed that there is a secret language that people who are highly energized sexually communicate with each other. They seem to recognize each other instantly. They walk into a room, look around and zero on one of their own and you see their and the other person’s eyes light up. Even if they try to hide it, you can see it even if you can’t quite put your finger on it.

So what’s their real secret?

Some people have a conscious awareness of their sexual energy. They have learned to generate, center and focus their sexual energy and communicate their “inner fire”. While those who lack the illumination of that inner fire seem lackluster, average and dull, and feel unworthy, can’t reach out, terrified of rejection etc. the man or woman “on fire” discharges a subtle energy that hits the opposite sex at another level, beyond verbal and non-verbal communication.

How do they do it?

Most people with this energy are not even aware of what it is EXACTLY they “do” to be that sexually magnetic. They’ll tell you “I am just being myself” – and they are.  They don’t necessarily say or do anything that can be described as “flirting” by today’s dating “know-how” but their timing is flawless and  their sexual vibes effortlessly strong. This is because their high responsiveness to their own sexual energy beats out a pattern that is unpremeditated but irresistible to the subconscious mind of the men and women they meet.

Is it always about sex?

Yes and No. Sexual energy works on a primitive level and procreation is so deeply instilled in us that it’s impossible to escape. And there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging its power over our lives. In fact, it has been argued by some schools of thought that almost every human endeavor is in one form or another, a transmutation of sexual energy.

Does that mean that when your sexual energy is highly activated you go romping anything that comes by?

No. sex is just one expression of sexual energy. When driven by this energy we develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to us at other times. Many of the self-imposed limitations – doubts, fears, inhibitions etc,. that you imagined were stopping you from being utterly irresistible to the opposite sex just seem to be silly and drift away.

Can anyone read another’s sexual energy?

There is nothing psychic about this and nothing extraordinary. You do not create sexual energy (with techniques routines or even body language), the codes that creation imprinted on us are available to us twenty-four hours a day at maximum strength.

If the codes are there why can’t we all do it?

Some people have beliefs, attitudes and behaviours that were programmed into them by their upbringing and environment and that pose a challenge. Their sexual energy which is their major source of action, creativity, imagination and cooperation is suppressed and in away they’ve been castrated. For proof of this, observe what happens to any animal after it has been castrated. A bull becomes aggressive and vicious; or docile, and reactive rather than proactive after it has been altered sexually. Same alteration of the cow has the same effect – it starts acting in an erratic and/or passive manner.

Your ability to sense and read another’s sexual vibes can be cultivated and developed. When you are in touch with, accept, feel good and are comfortable with your sexual energy you can create very intense attraction without trying to figure who or what is. You can walk into a room and sense, sometimes almost tangibly, another’s sexual energy, and the reaction between theirs and yours almost always immediately and you can tell whether it’s enough to spark interest or not.


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  1. says: James G.

    The Art of Seducing Out of Fullness will benefit men as well as women? How can one method help both sexes? I’m sure there is a widely different approach between the two.

    1. The book is NOT about a “method”, that’s a “efforting” or PAU mindset. There are no methods or scripts in the book because it’s about something that happens from the inside naturally and following your own unique individual way of BE-ING your sexual self.

      If you’re looking for a “method”, my advice is don’ buy the book, it’ll be a waste of your time and money. Also if you are not mentally ready for a completely different take on what it means to “naturally seduce” (with the purpose of a lasting loving relationship and not just to get laid), you will find yourself more confused than enlightened.

      It applies to both, because sexual energy has no gender of sex. It’s both within men and women, and in all of us with equal amounts and works the same way for both men and women. Some of us are either born or have developed skills for using it to benefit us and others have not.

  2. says: James G.

    The big unanswered question in this story is “how?” How do you learn to develop and cultivate this sexual energy in yourself? How do you learn to read it in others?