Older Women Younger Men: Should They Date?

cougar-town-older-women-younger-menThe sitcom Cougar Town starring Courtney Cox is meant to empower women or at least that’s what the show is said to do. It stars Courtney Cox’s character (Jules Cobb) a recently divorced forty-something single mother who upon discovering that all the men her age are either married, emotionally unavailable, gay or dating younger women reluctantly agrees to test the dating scene at a nightclub filed with much younger guys. She quickly finds herself a bit out of her element. Her old-fashioned dating skills and rules no longer apply.

Desperately trying to cling onto youth, Jules re-asserts herself through unrelenting sexuality. She sexually hunts and pursues younger men and finds herself in excruciating awkward situations. It’s only after Jules stops trying so hard to please the younger guys that she starts to make progress in the older women younger men dating world.

Jules’ best friend and neighbor Elle, tries to prevent her from going out while her 17-year old son is constantly being embarrassed by both of his parents (his father is also dating younger women). In one scene, Jules lectures middle school kids about how hard it is to date when you’re a forty-something woman.

After some wild nights out, Jules discovers that she can’t and doesn’t really want to party every night like a 20-year-old anymore.

I’m not sure what to make of the show so far and so I thought I’d ask you fine folks what you think about older women dating younger men.  What are some of the pro and cons of dating someone of a significantly different age? What are some of your best and worst experiences dating someone significantly older or younger? Should there be an age limit on who you date?

Any thoughts or questions on the subject?

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41 Comments

  1. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Waiting-to-exhale

    The older a woman gets the less she wants a man she can depend on. She want a partner, someone who simply loves her, enjoys her company, and supports her dreams and hopes. Not someone who feels insecure if she doesn’t “need” him and wants to control her.

  2. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Jen

    I’m 55, dating a 37 year old. I haven’t really been attracted to a man close to my age since my divorce a couple of years ago. When dating younger men, though, you have to weed out the ones that are just after sex with an older woman or want kids. Also, my boyfriend has 3 daughters. I love them, but it does put limits on our time together since he has custody of them. He’s a full-time dad AND MOM. Because of that, I realize I’m not high on his priority list and that hurts.

  3. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Christina

    I’m 40 dating a 31 one year old man and I’ve never been happier in my life the attraction and emotions between us are stronger than ever before !!:)

  4. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: SOL

    I have been dating a man 11 and 1/2 years my junior for a little over 2 years. We have had our ups and downs. He was a friend and instrumental in helping me heal from a painful separation from my husband 15 years my senior. We met when he was 25, and I was 38, The love, strength, respect and admiration that I got from the 25 year old, was more than my husband had given me in the 8 years of our relationship, the young man gave it to me in one month. The young man pursued me, his kiss alone said more to me than the 2 carot rock my husband gave me. The question here is how can someone so young, give so much with so little, and some one so mature give so little with so much? I was never open to the younger man older woman relationship until I met Dan, but now I truly understand, that love is something that is not meant to be confined by tradition or trends, love simply is, and for the Mothers out there opposed to their sons loving an older woman, I say: I would rather see my son happy with an older woman who loves him and can meet his wants, needs and desires, than miserable with a young one who drags him down with her needs, refuses to understand his needs, and demands that he exists soley to make her happy. I too have a son, and I love him enough to know that I cannot impose on him my ideals on love, he understands what makes him happy. Who am I to judge?

  5. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Ladonna

    My soon to be ex husband had cheated on me with a 18 year old while i was pregnant so i don’t really care for the men my age or younger. Imeant this guy he’s 21 years older and treats me with respect and wants to spend quality time together, but i don’t want to rush things what would you suggest i do?

    1. If you don’t want to rush things, then just don’t rush things. I can’t suggest any more than that because I don’t know anything about your relationship and why you feel that there is a possibility that you are or will rush things. Most people do not have that concern of “rushing things” so yours has to be coming from somewhere.

  6. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Florence

    My boyfriend left me for an older woman. Some of my friends say he’s not in love with her but just wants the experiencewith older woman. Should I wait for him to get bored with her and come back to me or just move on with my life?

  7. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: KSotoph

    I am 39, she’s 54. We have been together for 8 years and the age difference was never a problem. But now it is. She wants to stay home more, goes to sleep very early, her energy is low although her sex drive is okay but not as good as it used to be. I love her very much but not sure if I’m ready to live like an old couple.

  8. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Pat

    I agree with Goddess I can’t believe the jugemental attitudes of the responses. What does age have anything to with how 2 people feel about each other. Why can’t two people of two different ages have the same kind of relationship that 2 of the same age? The younger men also have a different mind set than the older men. They have been brought up being independent and are willing to let the woman be independent. Wouldnt even think of a man older for a relationship.

  9. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Terri

    It really does depend on the age gap. I am 43 and physically fit and I look great. I get action from guys as young as 20 and I love it because it shows me that I still have it. I wouldn’t date one that young. 30 is the youngest I am willing to date.

  10. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Goddess

    What is laughable is that this post is getting such judgmental comments. I’m an energetic fun loving 51 woman married to a man 19 years my junior. We love each and have an exciting life. And unlike some of the fat, lazy, stuck in their ways beer drinking couch potatoes men in my age group, he’s in great physical shape, does his share of housework and treats me like an equal. The amazing sex life is a bonus. Each to their own. 🙂

    For all you who judge us, better hope that your fate never falls into the hands of someone as indiscriminatingly judgmental as you.

  11. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Skeptic101

    SeanP
    … but I do not now how to approach them.

    Pretend you do not see they’re old, compliment how good they look and never stare not even glance at younger women. Only when you have her hooked to young-man sex can you go back to being yourself lol

  12. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Loveaddict

    Age doesn’t matter really. I think that people should be allowed to date whomever they want. Whatever makes two people happy, I say go for it.

  13. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Andstra007

    Courtney Cox is great as a cougar. REAL older women are NOT so fabulous and try desperately to be and look young but it only ages them. As for dating older women, for me I don’t think it would work long term, but for fun, yes, if she’s hot 🙂

  14. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Seamon

    It’s the culture of youth. Women who date younger men are seeking the youth which has escaped them in their younger years. Men in their own age group no longer possess the sexual vigor of the young.

  15. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Ondiscount401

    Younger men are baggage free and trainable. Older women are sexually experienced and there are no strings called commitment attached. A win-win situation! 🙂

  16. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Luveaux

    I’m pretty cool dating older women. They know what they want and how to get it. They are great in bed and really appreciate a man.

  17. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Pink

    Mandy, I couldn’t have said it better myself. As a parent, I wonder if the woman is a perv. Why can’t they find men closer to their age?!

  18. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Homestuff911

    Having a younger man isn’t a crime, shouldn’t be treat like a crime. I have been involved with a man much younger than me. We have our ups and downs but what relationship doesn’t. He loves me and I love him. At the end of the day, it’s all about love.

  19. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Aussystud

    Age isn’t really a factor if she is really happy and the young man is really in love and wants a future with his older woman. It all depends on what you like.

  20. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Matt

    I’d totally date a hot older woman as something on the side, something to hide away. Just a bit of the action to prove I’m still attractive lol

  21. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Mandy

    Speaking as a mother of three boys, I don’t want no Stella getting back her groove on my son. Women who celebrate this predatory behavior don’t know the pain of raising a son. We all want what is best for our children, a loving relationship with someone with whom they can grow and learn together.

  22. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: IOwnConfidence

    The very term cougar is offensive. It implies that the woman is preying on younger men when many times the reverse is true.

  23. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Text333

    I’m 25 and she’s 48 smoking hot body but I worry that if things get serious how it’ll be 20 years from now when she’s almost 70 and I’m only in my 40s.

  24. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Clare_bkf

    I just came across your blog recently, and I’ve really enjoyed it so far. I think that it depends on the age gap. In my opinion 15 and younger is really pushing it.

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