The decision to keep your distance or contact her is …

Comment on My Ex Says She Needs More Time by Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng.

The decision to keep your distance or contact her is really up to you.

I know for sure that keeping yourself away from her doesn’t say “I’m no longer clingy and needy”, it just says exactly what you’re doing, and that is “I’m keeping my distance.” She may have decided “just as well” and has decided that what you do doesn’t determine her happiness. Does that mean she’ll forget about you? I don’t know. There is that possibility if she will get comfortable with not having you around and actually find that she loves her new life without you.

Keeping yourself “relevant” and in the picture while you work on your clinginess and needy behaviours gives you a better chance. She’s more likely to believe that you’re changing if she can see it for herself than for you to disappear and reappear claiming to be a different person. Hard sell!

Recent Comments by Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng

Why Your Relationship Feels Like Too Much Work
Leave him for good and move on with your life or try to make things work out with him is a decision only you can make. I don’t believe in making decisions for others that they should be making for themselves. As a coach, I can only help you with whatever decision you make or whatever side you’re already leaning towards. Making decisions for you isn’t empowering you to OWN your life — and relationship (be responsible!).


When Do You Stop Trying To Get Back Your Ex?
If it makes you feel good to have “closure” contact him and tell him you’ll not be bothering him again. But that’s all what contacting him will do, give you “closure” (hopefully!).

Waiting for him to contact you is unrealistic. They say the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour… he didn’t contact you for 2 months and when you contacted him he didn’t seem interested and hasn’t responded to any of your 3 contacts, what makes you think he’ll contact you?

My suggestion is that you let this go… meaning you stop actively trying to get him back and focus your attention elsewhere. You can try again later if you are still up to it, but for now more contact is useless.


Should I Reach Out Or Wait For My Ex to Initiate A Text?
It might explain why some women seem to all be sharing or recycling the same men.


Should I Reach Out Or Wait For My Ex to Initiate A Text?
There’s that school of thought and I respect your position. However, I’m not saying women HAVE to approach men. Some women like you obviously have a problem with it, and that’s OK.

I think that if a woman wants to take the initiative and own the power to choose who she dates instead of complaining about men not approaching her, or about meeting only losers (who approach her), why try to take that from her with statements like “unless she’s desperate?”

We all should do what we have to do and let others do what they want to do. Makes life easier for everybody… (:


So Why Is My Ex Texting Me Now?
My advice… Grow up and stop playing mind games.

Engaging and pulling away — as in no contact then contact, then pulling away, then contact, then not returning calls etc — is destructive for any relationship.

One of you has to step up and be the adult, if not, it’s going to be like this until the feeling of love and liking is completely gone — for good!


More from Yangki Akiteng

Offering Support to A Depressed Partner

It can be tempting to pull back when your romantic partner shows...
Read More