Question: My ex texted me out of nowhere and now I’m really confused. After the breakup, she asked for space and I gave her the space she asked for. A month later she I texted just “hi”. I replied and asked if we were okay and she said we were okay. But when I texted her later she did not respond. I tried to reach out a few times but she had blocked me, so I left her alone. I wasn’t doing no contact, I just assumed she didn’t want me to contact her anymore. She said before that she can’t imagine a life without me. I was both surprised and hurt that she just stopped communicating without explanation.
Last night, A year later, she texted me out of the blue. I didn’t know what to say to her so I just sent a polite response. She replied saying she made a mistake texting me; and that she was very sorry for having bothered me and that she’d not be bothering me anymore.
I know I should have been more enthusiastic but I was confused. We hadn’t spoken in a year, I didn’t know why she contacted me after not responding to my texts. I also didn’t want to ask her because I didn’t want her to think I was angry with her; I was for a while but got over it. What do you think she wanted and where did I go wrong? Should I contact her and ask her what’s going on?
Yangki’s Answer: Confused it the right emotion when an ex texts you out of nowhere; especially after a year of no communication. It’s even more confusing when they say they made a mistake texting you.
I can’t say with any certainty what she wanted or expected. Maybe she expected you to be excited that she reached out; or expected you to be angry and not text back. I don’t know. Frankly, I do not think you should worry too much about what her expectations were/are. If someone can’t act like an adult, you’re probably better off without her in your life.
I don’t think you did anything wrong at all. Acting cautiously was the best you could have done under the circumstances.
Whether to contact her or not is really your call. If you decide to contact her and she does respond (she might not, so don’t be too disappointed); you’ll do yourself a favour bringing everything out in the open. Let the cards fall where they fall. You really have nothing to lose at this point.
I don’t know what caused your breakup, but being firm, assertive, positive and forward looking; lets her know that if she wants to be in your life, she can’t come in and out at will.
I really do hope you can deal with this once and for all and move forward — whichever direction. Best!