Question: My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. The breakup came as a shock to me. We never fought or had an argument where either of us raised their voice. I thought everything was going well. But he said things were going too fast and that he needs time. I asked him how much time and he said he doesn’t know but would contact me when he was ready. We both cried and hugged each other for 2 hours. I have never felt pain like this before. What hurts most is that it’s so easy for him to cut me off completely.
I’ve thought of contacting him but decided not to because he said he didn’t want contact. How can someone say he loves you and cut you off like you never existed?
Yangki’s Answer: I’m sorry you have to feel this kind of hurt.
“How can someone say he loves you and cut you off like you never existed?” is a question I have been asked so many times. The truth is, I don’t know the answer. I do;t think there is any one answer. Everybody is different and everybody has their own reasons for doing the things they do.
It’s obvious that you both still love each other but things were going too fast and it scared him off. It’s also possible that he just hasn’t figured his life out and a relationship is not something on the top of his list of priorities. Whatever it is, you need to respect his wish for no contact, and focus on you. If your relationship was as good as you describe it, and if his feelings for you are still strong, he will contact you when he’s ready.
Given the kind of relationship you had and how things ended, it’s hard for me to believe that he’s not hurting in some way himself; that he just walked away and has forgotten about you.