My Ex Replies To Texts But Is Cold And Distant

Question: My ex replies to all my texts and phone calls but is cold and distant. Like yesterday I told him that I did not want us to fight any more and he just said ok. I also told him it’d be better for us to start afresh, go out on dates, hang out together etc and he said what ever I want that is what we will do. I’m I wasting my time here?

Yangki’s Answer: Without knowing why you broke up and how long it’s been since you broke or what happened after the break-up, I can’t say for sure if you are wasting your time or not.

From what I can glean from your question, you fought and that’s why you told him you did not want to fight any more. If I am right, it may explain some of the coldness and distance. He may be still angry/hurt by those fights or he may be trying not to say the wrong things to avoid getting into a fight. It may also explain “what ever I want that is what we will do”. He’s saying what he thinks you want to hear to avoid an argument or long drawn conversation about it.

Like I’ve said here and in my eBook, going to your ex and offering a new start or telling him things can be better is a mistake. Words are cheap, he needs to see proof through actions. He needs to see that you can communicate and engage each other without getting into a fight. Not just once, but all the time.

Related articles: Understanding Your Avoidant Ex

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1 Comment

  • I was a believer in no contact until i started reading this site. I now believe no contact is toxic and reached out to my ex. She didn’t respond, I waited a couple of days and reached out again, This time she responded with just “hi”, i responded “how are you?”, she didn’t respond. I started to panic that I made a mistake contact her but reading more articles helped me calm down. Exactly 5 hours later she responded, “Good. How are you?”. We have had a couple more texts back and forth. She is still distant, but I am encouraged she wants to talk to me after I told her 42 hours ago not to contact me. Yes I now know it was very immature of me. I want o built up contact slowly and will be buying your book also.

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