Question: I failed to see her “emotional bids” and by the time I realized it was too late. We were together 7 years and I was heartbroken and needed time to heal. She is now dating a guy from her work. I know the guy and he’s a great guy. But she also agreed to meet, and we had a great time just like old times. I apologized for not being there for her and ignoring her texts and she apologized also for not telling me what she wanted from me. But when I asked if we can try to be together again she said she is falling for the other guy and happier than she’s ever been. She says she wishes for me to find the same happiness with someone else. I guess it’s too late now to start turning towards her, or is it?
Yangki’s Answer: I don’t know if it’s too late or not. What I do know is that when someone says she’s “happier than she’s ever been”, they have done a comparison analysis and decided in favour of the new relationship.
It’s possible that things can change when the new relationship gets old and starts having its own problems, but if the problems are not as bad, and/or the other guy is better at working through issues, the new relationship will grow, and last.
For now, all you can do is work on learning to “turn towards” instead of “turn away” from people you care about. Who knows, may be things will end with the other guy and she’ll turn back to you, and if you still want her back, you’ll be in better position to recognize her bids and give her the kind of connection she wants and needs.
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