Question: My girlfriend broke with after a major disagreement. I waited a month to initiate contact and she responded immediately saying she still loves me and that there is a good chance that we will get back together, but she does not want me to wait for her. She also said she doesn’t want to lose me but right now she wants to work oh herself. Part of me wants to believe that she really loves me and wants me back, but the other part fears investing more of my emotions only to end up being rejected again. Either she wants to be with me or she doesn’t. Should I just let go, move on with my life?
Yangki’s Answer: The only person who can make the decision as to whether to believe her and hope or cut your loses now and move on is you. It’s your heart and your life!
But since you asked me for advice, I’ll tell you what I think and believe, but ultimately you’ll have to weigh it against what you know is right for you.
If what you truly want is to be with her, and you believe in your heart that there is even just the slightest chance of you two getting back together, then why not do everything in your power to get what you want?
True, there is a possibility that you may be rejected again down the road but there is also the possibility that you won’t. You won’t know anything for sure unless you give yourselves a chance to try to make this work. The saddest part would be living with the regret for the rest of your life, not knowing if it ever would have worked out.
Where there is still love, anything is possible.
Give her time to sort whatever she needs to. When she comes back to you, it’ll be because she’s thought it through and decided it’s what she wants not because you pressured her in to it. Showing understanding trumps undue pressure every time.
Giving her time however doesn’t mean you “hang around waiting”. Do something worthwhile with your life but keep the option that she may come back into your life open.
If she’s open to keeping in touch, use that time and space to build a better and stronger relationship instead of rushing to get back together only to break up again. Show her how things can and will be different and better. This will more likely convince her to come back to you sooner than applying pressure on her to come back.