One of the most frequesntly asked questions about the art of seduction is why it works for some people and not others. But before I can answer that question, I want to point out that there are two kinds of seduction. The one in which the art of seduction connotes sex appeal or sexual enticement using a specific series of smooth fast talking routines or techniques to entice “a target” into doing what he or she would normally not want to do or want to give up.
The other is seduction that is all part of everyday life and a medium of every day communication that when absent in human interaction, the interaction lacks a sense of fun and excitement, meaning and pleasure. This type of seduction goes beyond the efficiency of “smooth talk” to creating an exclusive shared bond. This is the type of seduction I am more competent to talk about.
The art of seduction – that natural and authentic masculine-feminine dynamic that makes man-woman relationships fun, loving and truly fulfilling – is a ritual with beginning (seduction), middle (attraction), and an end (a relationship).
The beginning – stimulate the imagination
Stimulate the imagination by creating an emotional picture that allows the person to see him or herself in the centre of the experience (how he or she will feel). One way to do this is by not only being original but going beyond the obvious. The idea is to create an emotional promise that the person can experience in real time (right-here-right-now). The emotional picture has to promise some kind of emotional transformation (interest, excitement, arousal or something related to personal development). The emotional picture you create must closely connect with the persons emotional aspirations for it to seduce
The middle – Make progress with small fulfillments
While the beginning and the end are all important, it is the middle where the attraction really happen. Create attraction by rewarding the person for the attention given and create reason for him or her to invest more emotion into the experience. Every time you fulfill his or her emotional aspiration, it validates the emotional picture originally created in his/her imagination. A person exceptionally good at this art knows how to draw out the middle (this often includes the use of mystery, suspense, subtle suggestion and multi-sensory stimulation) almost indefinitely. The whole intention is to create positive feelings about the future. The longer you can draw the experience (excitement, arousal, personal growth, pleasure etc) the more lasting the attraction and emotional bond you’ll create.
The End – Deliver in a memorable way
For the attraction to survive and progress into a relationship you must continue the emotional engagement (making good on past promises, making new ones for the future and delivering surprises with something more than expected). As long as the other person feels that he or she is growing emotionally or intellectually in some way due to your presence in his/her life, you will be viewed as valuable and good for keeps.
Unfortunately, this approach to seduction is rare. Most so called master seducers are more concerned with technique and “fast” seduction than with creating attraction, let alone a real lasting relationship. When the emotional experience is not explored and experienced by the other person it is very difficult to create a seductive experience that can survive beyond initial contact.
If you are interested in learning how to use this powerful medium of communication to create bonds that are personal, intimate, and emotional and lasting, then I recommend that you begin rigorous development of a deeper understanding of the phenomenon of seduction. Immerse yourself in learning how to build meaningful, pleasurable and fulfilling emotional experiences and connections.
While seemingly elusive, the art of seduction is very powerful – when done well. Only a person who expects more can actually create more and have more.