“what makes us different is who we are, not our …

Comment on Do Men And Women Love Differently? by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng.

“what makes us different is who we are, not our genders…”

I couldn’t agree more.

Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng Also Commented

Do Men And Women Love Differently?
Bam!!! I always thought that, but thought may be I’m being high-nosed with regard to those who insist on dividing us in terms of gender.

I came to that conclusion years back, after working with many singles and couples. Those who insisted on the gender divide had the hardest time approaching or relating to the opposite gender — and had the rockiest and most unfulfilling relationships. This was confirmed time and time again. Once some of them made the adjustment, they saw just how easy it is to approach the opposite gender, relate to them and have their own wants, needs and desires fulfilled while fulfilling the other person’s as well.


Do Men And Women Love Differently?
Women are fickle, but men are ignorant….

Wow! Someone must have hurt you so bad for you to come to this conclusion. But that’s your (one man’s) experience, I’m sure not all men share your view.

I agree that as a whole, we will never understand each other because people are always changing. But we can’t say for sure anything is “human nature” when human nature keeps changing depending on who is defining it. There are so many things I used to think were “human nature” (e.g. heterosexuality) until I met other human beings with a compleletly different “human nature”(e.g. homosexuality). I’m very fascinated by all the different types of “human natures!”

There is no denial here, just practical thinking. In my article I say there are some biological differences but the more obvious gender similarities is more of socialization than biological. For example I’m very much similar to most African men in thought process, emotional regulation/expression and how I approach and relate to the opposite gender than I am, say to an African-American, white or Asian woman. We all are women but socialized in completely different environments which determine how we perceive and engage the world around us.

But I’ve also met some white and Asian women who have had similar experiences as mine and are so much like me than say, an African woman with no similar experiences as mine. Then I’ve had males who have written me calling me a “fake” because they don’t believe my writings are by a woman. According to them, (I’m) too “rational” to be female. Go FIGURE!!!

I personally don’t think any gender or particular cultural/socialization is better than the other. I totally believe we are all who we are — and it’s all good! If tomorrow I woke up and I was a white woman or an Asian man, I’d still be happy and proud of who I am!


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