That things don’t always go the way we want or expect is one of the hardest things to deal with when trying to get back one’s ex.
Many of us get all stressed, anxious, nervous and all over the place because we can not predict what’ll happen next. We start imagining worst case scenarios in an attempt to prepare ourselves for the worst. Others create situations where they get into a fight with their ex (spy on their ex, say or write nasty things about the person), and completely ruin any possibility of ever getting back together.
If you find yourself acting out, you’ve crossed the line from trying to get your ex back to driving your ex further away.
What causes people to shoot themselves in the foot like this is not what the ex is doing, but their inability to handle their anxiety in the face of unpredictability and uncertainty. In many instances, you’ll find that your goal has shifted from trying to get your ex back to fighting the anxiety and toxic stress caused by the uncertainty of the situation– and you are paying “an expert’ hard-earned dollars to play psychic (or ex-basher) instead of help you get your ex back.
What you need to do first and foremost is accept that wherever human beings are involved, it is impossible to be 100% certain about what they’ll say or do at any given moment. If you were dealing with a machine, you’d program it so that you know exactly what’s going to say or do – and why. But you are dealing with a human being — complex, versatile, ever changing and highly unpredictable by nature.
One moment they say one thing, the next they say something else. One day they feel this way and the next day they feel completely the opposite.
Simply put, be prepared for the fact that you cannot know everything and you cannot control everything at any one particular point in the process. Indeed, to expect the opposite would be unwise, and may detract you from achieving your goal of attracting your ex back.
Having control of the direction things are going in this process is nothing more than:
- being aware of how your mind works;
- framing situations accurately;
- having a strategy for how you are going to attract your ex back;
- a high degree of imagination and flexibility and;
- an overriding willingness to embrace mistakes and surprises along the way.