Does long distance make it harder to get back your ex?
Yes and no. While your chances dramatically increase with more dates and spending time together, you can still get back together even with distance in play.
Dr. Marlone Henderson, a psychologist at the University of Texas, examined how negotiations that don’t take place in person may be affected by distance. He compared distant negotiators (several thousand feet away) with those who are nearby (a few feet away) in three separate situations.
Henderson found out that: “People tend to concentrate on higher priority items when there is more distance between them by looking at issues in a more abstract way. They go beyond just thinking about their pursuit of the options presented to them and consider higher-level motives driving their priorities”.
Henderson concluded that “When you guarantee that everybody is focused on their higher level motives, distance doesn’t really matter as much. However, when that doesn’t happen, distance does matter because the nearby negotiators aren’t naturally focusing on their higher level motives as much as the distant negotiators.”
This is similar to what I’ve observed. While people within geographically proximity tend to have more contact, sometimes there is very little actual communication and emotional bonding going on.
Many people in long distance relationships on the other hand, tend to make more effort to really connect.
Where the feelings of love are still strong, physical distance enriches the relationship by forcing both parties to focus on communicating and connecting. Not only do they carefully plan their contacts, they also plan what they say and how they are going to respond because they know that they do not have all the time in the world to be superficial, start fights or play mind games.
It is not easy, but physical distance doesn’t have to be THE reason things don’t work out if you use distance to your advantage.