Sexy Nerd Can’t Get A Date?


Question: I agree with everything said in this post (#1 Most Attractive Trait Men and Women Look for). I’m an intellectual with a very high IQ,  but I find that real true intelligence comes not from reading books or getting a piece of paper to say your qualified in this or that but to be able to perceive things from a completely different stand point without a second person telling you how you should think or feel about something, and making your own conclusions to the many questions life has to offer.

True intelligence is also the ability to “switch off” and just enjoy the moment. Something many of us intellectuals have trouble with because of we have a tendency to over analyze people and situations. I for one have had only one girlfriend (I’m 30) because I ruin the relationship overanalyzing it and not being able to be spontaneous. I’m an attractive guy, very toned and earn a good living but I feel very lonely because I have no one to share my interests with. The women I work with often come to me for solutions and not much else.

I know being intellectual is supposed to be a good thing but it feels more like of a burden most days.

Yangki’s Answer: I think I know how you feel… not from experience (Oh! NO. I’m no “intellectual” and probably have a very low IQ… hihihi), but from watching people who are unable to engage, appreciate and enjoy life because they are “too intelligent to be happy”.

The part that struck me most in your comment is “… to be able to perceive things from a completely different stand point…”

I can’t comment on the other areas of your “intelligence”, but relationship-wise – I believe my EQ is at least above average – (;, I may be able to help:

1. Allow yourself to let go trying to “control” the world around you.

This is probably one of the biggest problems for intellectuals. They have this almost rigid ideal view of the world (their view) and get easily frustrated with people and situations when they don’t meet their ideal (and often high expectations).

You more easily connect with people by learning to perceive things from their stand point which may be different from yours. Different doesn’t mean “better than” it just means “other than”. There is so much “other than” that no “intelligent” mind can completely wrap itself around. That’s the beauty of life, and the magic of living. We don’t always know everything…

2. Accept that some things in life make immediate sense; some things take time to make sense of; and some things just will never make sense.

By letting go a rigid ideal view of the world, you unburden yourself of the need to over-analyze or make sense of everything in the world, even that which doesn’t make sense.

And because most people are drawn to people who seem to have the least “baggage”, you’ll find more people being drawn to you even without much effort on your part.

They say, “Happiness is the radiance of an untroubled soul”.

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