Is Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Serious – Can You Get Them Back?

In this article I am going to explain in detail what a rebound relationship is; how you know your ex’s rebound relationship is serious; and if you can and will attract back your ex.

If your ex’s rebound relationship is serious, the chances of getting back your ex are probably none. But if it is a rebound relationship that’s not serious, there is a chance it will not last; and you can still attract back your ex.

A rebound relationship is a new relationship:

  1. Soon after a break-up, usually short in duration
  2. With a new partner soon after the break-up used to help mend a “broken heart.”
  3. Used to try to move on; or prove to an ex that they have indeed moved on.

What makes a relationship a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship is easy to spot and recognize for what it is. It’s a band-aid for unresolved pain and the trauma of going through rejection, feeling unwanted or becoming single again. This is true whether one is the dumped or the dumpee.

For people who have an especially hard time moving on after a breakup, it serves as a distraction from obsessing, and even stalking an ex. For others, it is about companionship – someone to spend evenings, weekends, go to parties with, email, call and text. And sometimes it is about sex – just to satisfy the physical desires and nothing more.

Most rebound relationships do not last. How long your ex’s rebound relationship lasts depends on:

1) Your ex’s emotional stability and availability after the break-up

Someone “on the rebound” is often incapable of making a genuine emotional connection with the new partner because of emotional baggage from the break-up. Lingering feelings for an ex or unresolved problems from the previous relationship ultimately causes the new relationship to struggle and eventually end.

2) The desire to continue distracting oneself from the pain of a break up

Some people on a rebound after sometime realize that they can’t go on trying to run away the pain of the break-up. They decide it’s time to eliminate the distraction (rebound relationship); and start the emotional healing and recovery.

3) How long it takes for the “new” man or woman to realize and accept that they are a rebound

Most people being used as a rebound or distraction eventually realize that the one on the rebound isn’t really ready/emotionally available for a relationship; and often end the rebound relationship.

It’s important to understand that not every new relationship after a break-up is always necessarily a “rebound” relationship

Your ex’s rebound relationship may actually be a serious relationship

An ex may have actually moved on from you (even if you haven’t) before they entered a new relationship. Some people move on in as quickly as hours, especially if they’d already emotionally moved on (lost that “in love” feeling) long before the break-up. Others break-up to be with someone they’ve been interested in/casually seeing for months. So even if it may look like a “new relationship”, the interest and feelings have been there for weeks/months and grown deeper, stronger and stable with time.

And if  two people have a genuinely good connection and are open and honest about their baggage from a just-ended-relationship, these new relationships can and do last.

If you have recently broken up and your ex is already in a new relationship, what you need to do is study the situation very carefully.

  • Why and how did you break up?
  • How did you handle the post-break up period?
  • How soon after you broke up did your ex enter a new relationship?
  • Is the “new” man or woman someone your ex has been interested in/casually seeing for months or someone who seemed to have just appeared from nowhere?
  • Is the new relationship struggling?
  • Is your ex spending more time and effort staying in contact with you than nurturing the new relationship? Etc.

Your attitude and actions to your ex’s rebound relationship is important

What you do when you find out your ex is in a new sometimes plays a big role in how long the new relationship will last; and if you can and will get your ex back.

If your ex’s rebound relationship is indeed a rebound and not a serious relationship; consider it buying you time to change and improve on yourself. When the rebound ends, you will be better positioned to offer your ex a different and improved relationship. At the end of the day, it’s not the end of a rebound relationship that’ll make an ex who still has feelings for you come back to you, it’s the value and attractiveness of what you offer.

Don’t just sit there waiting for the rebound relationship to end because you’ve heard that all new relationships after a break-up are rebound relationships; and will not last. The “rebound relationship” may indeed end, but your ex may move on to someone else (not you)!

But if there are all signs that your ex’s rebound relationship is serious, and your ex is happy in the new relationship; then it’s time for you to move on too.

RELATED:

3 Steps Crucial To Getting Back Your Ex In A Rebound Relationship

This Is NOT How To React To An Ex’s Rebound Relationship

More from Love Doctor Yangki Akiteng
Why Is My Girlfriend’s Ex Texting and Calling Her Everyday?
Question: Yangki, I need help. Our relationship is 6 mos but we...
Read More
Join the Conversation

146 Comments

  1. says: Hillier

    Yangki, I contacted you about my situation with ex in a rebound relationship just over two and a half months ago. She said she had moved on and wanted me to move on too, but you told me her actions said something else. I took your advice and continued contact with her. Three weeks ago, the rebound relationship ended. Initially she told me she just wanted to be on her own to deal with the issues with herself. I told her I understand and will respect her wish. Two days later she texted me and asked if I wanted to go out for a drink, which I did. For the last week, we have texted each other everyday and have long chats. Although I’m pleased with the new turn of events, I can’t but help feel that she’s using me to get over him just like she used him to get over me. I want her back but don’t want to be another rebound?

    1. I agree with you, you have good reason to be concerned. Continue talking and seeing her, but do not rush into anything. If she asks you why you are holding back, be honest and tell her you don’t want to be another rebound. If she’s in it for the long haul, she’ll understand.

      If it’s just another rebound, she’ll act up or disappear hoping that you will go after her. Don’t. If she’s not capable of sticking it out and working with you to make the relationship work, she’s not worth it. Let her run from one rebound to another. At some point she’ll have to deal with her issues.

  2. says: scopigirl

    This makes sense. My ex left me for a woman he barely knew. Theirs could be considered a rebound relationship because he moved in with her just weeks after we broke up, but they’ve been together for over 3 years now. Looking back, I can see he had emotionally checked out of our relationship long before we broke up and she just happened to be the one he fell for.

  3. says: saria

    My ex’s rebound relationship seems to be going strong. He started dating her 2 weeks after we broke up and they have been together for 2 years. They both seem very happy and a friend recently told me they are planning to buy a home together. It still hurts to know that he was over me so quickly.

    1. It does hurt. But you are not doing yourself a favour “monitoring” how they are doing. Since it looks like they are going to be together a long time, it’s time for you to move on with your life and leave this behind you.

      I know, not easy… You owe this to yourself.

  4. says: Dan

    I opened 5 or 6 websites talking about rebound relationships, and this one was the only one that taught me something new. When I read that note about people rebounding “to prove to themselves they are worthy of love and affection,” a light bulb went on. That may be me, and if there’s even a question, I’m probably not ready. And that’s fine — I’d rather deal with that now than later, after I’ve dragged someone else into it. Thanks for your help, Yangki!

  5. says: Natt

    I agree with this article. There is no golden rule that says that because your ex is dating someone else that it is a rebound and doomed to fail. My “rebound” relationship lasted 5 years. It was definitely better than my last relationship and I have no regrets I met this person less than a week after I broke up with my ex. We both needed each other and became better partners as a result.

  6. says: Anna

    I didn’t think my partner entered our current relationship trying to rebound since he had been single for 2 years before we met, but I’ve learned he told his ex he loves her after a few years into our relationship. Thinking back, he was never as emotionally available as I’d hoped he’d be.

    Thank you for this article, I realize now that he wasn’t over her yet and I am more than likely a rebound.

  7. says: Lemukol

    I was the rebound after his ex of 4 years left him. We were together for 11 months when she came back into the picture. He said he was torn but decided she was the one he wanted to be with. They are back together and planning a wedding. I’m deeply hurt as I still love him but I wish them all the best. I will someday find my “one” and this will all be a thing of the past.

Leave a comment
Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.