Question: My ex broke up with me three months ago but every once in a while she calls me, tells me how much she loves me, misses me and acts like she wants to get back together. She asks me if I still love her and miss her and then when I say yes, she says she thinks we’re better off with other people. On the other hand if I say I am not sure about how I feel she breaks down into tears and says she can’t love someone who doesn’t love her back. Does she really want something again with me or is she just trying to see if I am over her?
Yangki’s Answer: I think she calls to get you emotionally hooked again because it gives her an emotional high. And as long as she keeps you as her emotional hostage, she’ll keep calling.
Next time she pulls this, don’t get drawn into chit-chatty conversations that go nowhere. When she brings up the “love you, miss you” stuff, tell her “I know you love and miss me,”. Don’t say you love or miss her, or anything that will give her the ego-stroking she’s looking for.
If she asks if you still love and miss her, tell it does not matter whether or not you miss her because she thinks you’re better off with other people. And because she keeps saying it, you are beginning to believe that may be she’s right.
My guess is she’ll do the tears thing, but by now you know that means nothing. It’s just a game.
The point is to let her know she can’t play the emotional hostage game anymore, and if she continues with what she’s doing, you might have to let her go as it’s obvious you are not getting back together.
Most people play mind games because we let them. She needs to know the game is over. Either she steps up or you step away.