Question: My ex and I have plans to hang out. I am picking her up from work and going out for dinner. But I was thinking of cooking and serving her a full course dinner at my house. One, she’s not been to my house since the breakup and two; I’m a really good cook but neglected to cook for her while we were together. One of the things you said in your Dating Your Ex eBook is that it’s the moments when you both encounter something new and surprising about the other that creates momentum and moves things further. I believe I have some momentum, I’m just not sure if at this stage if I can ask my ex to hang out at my house? Any tips on how to create even more mystery and make it a bigger surprise? Thank you in advance.
Yangki’s Answer: If you are the stage where you are picking her from work and there seems to be some momentum, yes it is okay to ask your ex to hang out at your house.
Cooking her differ is bound to make an impact and I think she’s not only going to be surprised but also impressed.
This is one tip I’ve shared and have received feedback saying, it did the magic.
Call her up and after the usual chit-chat. Allow a few seconds of silence to pass, then like you’ve been thinking of something really important that has been weighing on your mind, say something along these lines (revise the words, so it’s more you):
“I’m struggling with a decision and need your help. I have two options, A and B. Which do you think I should choose?”
She may ask, what exactly is involved in each option. Just say it’s something you’d rather not talk about just yet. At this point all you need is some kind of external confirmation on which direction you should go. Then say, don’t put too much thought into it.
If you’re not the type to make spontaneous decisions; she may get a little uneasy with this new development, but you want to keep the air of mystery. Say something along these lines (revise the words, so it’s more you):
“I know this is so unlike me, but this is one decision I just have to be spontaneous about, that’s why I’m asking for your help”.
Whichever option she picks, A or B, simply say, “Thank you so much. See you (whatever day/time you have plans to hang out)”
Don’t tell her what you’re planning on doing. Pick her up as arranged but then suggest you make a little detour to your place because you forgot something, that has to do with the decision she helped you make.
The rest is up to you! Let me know how it turns out.