Question: Is my ex’s new relationship a rebound relationship if she says she still loves me and responds to my texts?
We broke up over 8 months ago. I have a hard time getting over the fact that she dumped me the same day she told me she loved me very much. Every time I ask her if she doesn’t love me anymore, she says her feelings have not changed. She still loves me but she does not think we can be in a relationship. I pushed her away and want another chance to show her how much I love her, but I don’t think that is possible anymore. She is seeing another guy she met a few weeks after we broke up. She still responds to my texts and we have met a couple of times. Do you think it’s a rebound relationship, and if so, what should I do to get her back?
Yangki’s Answer: I think it is a rebound relationship simply because she still loves you, still responds to your texts and even wants to see you.
What should you do is:
1. Stop asking her if her feelings for have changed. She has told you they haven’t and asking it over and over makes you come across as needy (constantly looking for reassurance).
2. Keep the lines of communication open as much as she allows. This shows you want her back and are willing to put in the work. Also keeping the lines of communication open helps you keep updated on what’s going on with her; and it may even provide a contrast between her two relationship and help her see what it is she really wants.
3. Don’t try to get her back. Let their relationship run its course (without you interfering in it). If it’s a rebound, it will end soon enough. But only do this if you have a strong emotional backbone. Some people are not emotionally strong enough to stay in contact with an ex who is seeing someone else. Only you can determine if you are, or not.
4. Don’t put your life on hold waiting for her. Go out date other people; she’s doing it, it’s okay for you to do it too. You never know you might meet someone you want to be with more than you want to be with your ex.
5. Work on you and if and when their relationship ends, you’ll be in a better position to get her back. Even if the you don’t get back your ex, you will be a better partner for someone who deserves the better version of you.
All that said, there are no guarantees in these kind of situations. I’ve seen people in similar situations get back together; and I’ve seen others go their separate ways.