Question: Me and my ex broke up over 3 months ago and I have a hard time getting over the fact that she dumped me the same day she told me she loved me very much. Every time I ask her if she doesn’t love me anymore, she says her feelings have not changed, but she does not think we can be in a relationship. I pushed her away and want another chance to show her how much I love her, but I don’t think that is possible anymore. She is seeing another guy she met a few weeks after we broke up. She still responds to my texts and we have met a couple of time but says she says I hurt her so much and wants to give the new relationship a chance. I have taken responsibility for my actions and just want a chance to be with her again. Do you think it’s a rebound relationship, and if so, what should I do to get her back?
Yangki’s Answer: I can’t say whether it is a rebound relationship or not. Not every relationship after a break-up is necessarily a rebound relationship.
What does this mean for you?
1. Stop asking her if her feelings for have changed. She has told you they haven’t and asking it over and over makes you come across as needy (constantly looking for reassurance).
2. The best you can do is keep the lines of communication open (as much as she allows) by reaching out every once in a while, to show her you still care about her and think of her. Also keeping the lines of communication open helps you keep updated on what’s going on with her and it may even provide a contrast between her two relationship and help her see what it is she really wants.
Don’t try to get her back. Let their relationship run its course (without you interfering in it). If it’s a rebound, it will end soon enough.
Caveat: Only do this if you have a strong emotional backbone. Some people are not emotionally strong enough to stay in contact with an ex who is seeing someone else. Only you can determine if you are, or not.
In the meantime, work on you and if and when their relationship ends, you’ll be in a better position to get her back. While you work on you, go out and meet other people. You never know you might meet someone else yourself.
There are no guarantees in these kind of situations, but I’ve seen people in similar situations get back together.
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