When it comes to relationships, there will always be another man or woman waiting to take your place. That’s something you have no control over.
What you do have control over is how you set yourself apart from everyone else.
Whether we admit it or not, we human beings take pride in knowing that we have what nobody else has.
Whether it is talent, skill, material goods or people we are associated with, there is satisfaction in knowing we are somehow “special” because we have something that no one else has. By being that “something that no one else has” to someone else, we’re perceived to be of “high quality” and therefore in demand — or at least that’s how the human mind sees it.
The problem is that many of us do not believe that we have something that no one else has. Even those of us who believe we are “special” do not know how to tap into what makes us truly “unlike any other”.
Instead, we buy into advice and techniques that make us “just like everybody else”. We dress like the next girl, talk “the game” like the next guy and play the part of “every man” and “every woman”. In the process, we lose our uniqueness and what sets us apart.
But because we intuitively know that in order to be considered of “high quality” we must present ourselves not only as “unlike any other”, we also must give the impression that we are in “demand”, we resort to mind games such playing hard to get.
The premise is that if we limit supply, the demand will increase; which works so well in a commodity market but not so well in relationships.
In relationships, you can’t sustain the demand-supply dynamics without it hurting the relationship.
Manipulating physical supply (pretending to be “unavailable”), emotional supply (not revealing how you truly feel about someone), intimacy supply (withholding sex), mental supply (playing mind games) will over time backfire and hurt the relationship and hurt you as well.
Not to mention that living in constant fear of supply exceeding demand: being too available, contacting them more than they contact you, being into them more than they are into you, loving them more than they love you, being used or taken advantage of etc,. makes us insecure (needy, clingy, jealous, controlling, manipulative etc) and unattractive.
One of the things you can do to set yourself apart from everyone else and feel secure as “unlike any other” is to tap into the qualities that make you unique. We all have something “unique” about us that makes us truly “unlike any other”. You just have to find yours.
The other thing you can do is to make yourself remembered for all the right reasons.
Yes. You can influence how (or if) someone remembers you.