How Likely Is It That Your Avoidant Ex Will Reach Out? [TEST]

Avoidants are more likely to initiate reconnection when they sense genuine care from you, especially if you handled the breakup and post-breakup interaction in ways that made them feel that your sincerely cared about them and respect them.

This quiz helps you assess how likely it is that your avoidant ex might make the first move — and whether your post-breakup behaviour has made that more or less probable.

1. When you broke up, did you express real concern for how they were feeling or doing — not just regret, but empathy?

4 – I genuinely showed I cared about their emotional state.

3 – I tried to communicate that, though not perfectly.

2 – I said I cared, but it wasn’t deeply felt or expressed.

1 –I focused on my pain or why we ended.

2. How caring and respectful was your breakup?

4 – I kept my tone calm and respectful.

3 – I tried to be considerate, though I wasn’t perfect.

2 – There were moments of tension or defensiveness.

1 – The breakup was rough, emotional, or detached.

3. After the breakup, have you maintained some level of contact (texts, check-ins, or friendly messages) without demanding anything?

4 – Yes — I’ve stayed in touch gently.

3 – Often — I check in sometimes, with care.

2 – Occasionally — but it’s not consistent.

1 – Not really — I cut off all contact.

4. Have you reached out since the breakup – and how was your tone?

4 – Warm, gentle and caring, and not overly emotional or needy?

3 – I might have come off as a little emotional.

2 – I was more emotional or intense than I wanted to be.

1 – Anxious and I might have come off as pushy or demanding.

5. Do you ever reflect on the breakup from their perspective?

4 – Yes — I genuinely try to understand how they might have felt.

3 – Often — I consider their point of view in my mind or messages.

2 – Sometimes — I catch myself understanding them, but not always.

1 – Rarely — I mostly stick to my own narrative.

6. Did you take responsibility for your role in the breakup (what you did or didn’t do)?

4 – I owned my role and expressed secure accountability.

3 – I acknowledged some fault but held back on others.

2 – I admitted a few things, but I think the breakup is all their fault.

1 – I take no responsibility — I did nothing wrong.

7. When breaking up did you emphasize the positive things gained?

4 – I talked about lessons, gratitude, and personal growth.

3 – I try to highlight positives like shared experiences.

2 – I mostly focused on regret and “what we lost”?

1 –I mostly talked about failures or things that went wrong.

8. Do you believe your ex reached a conclusion that your love and care was real after the breakup?

4 – I think they saw I genuinely cared, not just wanted something.

3 – I think they believed I cared, though I’m not certain.

2 – I think they may doubt how much I cared.

1 – They said I never cared about them.

9. Did you clearly express that you were open to staying in contact after the breakup?

4 – I explicitly said I wanted to stay in touch.

3 – I hinted or showed openness without directly saying it.

2 – I didn’t express wanting contact, but I wasn’t closed off either.

1 – I made it clear I didn’t want contact/I withdrew completely.

10. Did you block them, restrict access, or make it hard for them to reach you?

4 – No — they’ve always had open access to contact me.

3 – I restricted some access (e.g., muted, unfollowed) but didn’t block them.

2 – I blocked briefly or partially but eventually reopened contact.

1 – Yes — I blocked them/cut off access completely.

Scoring

30–40: Strong Chance That They Initiate Reconnection — You’ve checked many of the most important boxes for what encourages an avoidant ex to initiate reconnection: genuine care, positive tone, trust-building, and respectful communication.

20–29: Moderate Chance They’ll Initiate Reconnection — There’s good reason to hope. Some of your behaviours align with what helps avoidants feel safe and seen, but other patterns may still feel too intense or unclear.

10–19: Low Chance They’ll Initiate Reconnection on Their Own — Your behaviour during and after the breakup may have made your avoidant ex feel unsure, or unconvinced that you truly “cared.”

Understanding whether an avoidant ex is likely to reach out again can help you decide how to show up (or whether to wait). This quiz gives you insight—but reconnection isn’t guaranteed. Use your results to shape your next move.

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Will A Fearful Avoidant Ex Break No Contact? (Useful Guide)

Dismissive Avoidant Ex Reached Out First (What to Do)

How Avoidant Ex Leaves The Door Open To Reconnect Later

Avoidant Reached Out 6 Months After The Breakup