Question: Yangki, first of all thank you very much for your site and amazing eBook. I think my ex and I are making progress. We broke up because he felt he had fallen out of love. Since starting open communication, thanks to your advice, he’s told me he was bored with our sex and didn’t feel desired by me. I would like to show him a more interesting and exciting me, but not sure how far to go, or if it’s a good idea. Any suggestions?
Yangki’s Answer: Absolutely, it’s a good idea… 😉
It’s especially a good idea for you since this was one of the reasons you broke up. Consciously and intentionally making yourself desired by your ex and him feeling desired by you can generate a constant flow of powerful feelings of attraction and build excitement and passion — that feeling of being in love again..
In fact research has shown that keeping your man “sexually interested” improves his emotional disposition and makes him more mellow, tender and cooperative.
You already started to show him a more interesting and exciting you by having an open and honest conversation about this part of your relationship. Many people don’t realize just how much difference open and honest communication makes to the quality of a relationship.
How far you can go depends on what you are comfortable with at this stage of the process. Just make sure “sex” doesn’t become the main focus of your communications or the only reason he wants you back. Keep it to the stage of the process you are in, and you’ll be just fine.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Use of sexual innuendo in text messages, phone calls etc
- Sexual eye-contact (deep gazing, winks, playful naughty glances etc)
- Sexual body language (licking lips, crossing legs, playing with hair etc)
- Little surprises e.g. when he expects a hug give a tickle, when he expects a peck on the cheek give a kiss
- A brush against him when you’re passing each other
- A thigh squeeze in the car
- A teasing run-of-the-hands down your body e.g when stretching just to remind him of what it feels like to touch you
- Provocative swing of the hips when you catch him looking at you walking
- “Dirty and sexy” talk when he least expects it (and sex is not involved)
- Clothes that flatter your body type and accentuate your femininity (something he’s never seen before and doesn’t think is your “type”)
All the best!