Question: My ex left nearly 2 weeks ago, because she felt something was “missing”, that we havent really been working through any issues for months. Looking back i can see this is true, but i also believe what we have is special, and that she is the one. I have been working on myself this whole time, and plan to continue with it. She tells me she still loves me but believes that she needs to get over me, but id like to ask her to give me a try at making her feel loved and fun and happy again, by actually dating (we missed this step the first time) and just having fun maybe once or twice a week, before she does that. I just bought your book and started reading it. What areas should I be focusing on?
Yangki’s Answer: You are approaching this the right way. Tell her you are not asking her to take you back at this point. All you are asking is that get together once a week (start with once a week) and just hang out and have fun. You can even tell her you missed that in the past because you went straight to the ‘relationship’. Tell her to try to if a month and if she still feels the same, you will accept that she needs to move on. If she agrees to this, make sure that you deliver.
Keep in mind that what’s meaningful, emotional bonding and fun is different from woman to woman (just like it is from man to man), so you have to really know what appeals to YOUR WOMAN. Doing general ‘what women want’ won’t get you far. It may even confirm to her that you just don’t GET HER (and may never) and that seals your fate.
I recommend that you read the whole book to get an idea of the overall approach/strategy. The following chapters (approx. 70 pages) all deal with dating an ex in a way that is meaningful, emotional bonding and fun – all working gradually towards actually getting back together, and staying together:
1) re-entering your ex’s life
2) the right time to ask for another chance
3) direct vs. indirect request
4) how to talk about getting back together
5) being friends to start with
6) the pulling and pushing phase
7) starting afresh
For more please see: 10 Emotions Your Ex Needs to Feel.
And if you need help figuring out what will work for your woman, I’m happy to work with you.
