Question: My ex broke up with me about two months ago. After 3 weeks of no contact, I sent him a text “hi, can we talk. I have some things I’d rather say face to face.” He responded’ “whatever you want to tell me, you can text”. I texted him that it was important to take in person, he did not respond. After 2 days I texted him again, “if you don’t want nothing to do with me, then just say so and I’ll leave you alone”. He texted back immediately, “Please, and thank you”. I texted back “Fine. I’ll leave you alone, I don’t want anything to do with you too.”
I still love him very much and want him back. Do you think he is acting like this because he still has feelings for me but doesn’t want to admit it?
Yangki’s Answer: It’s possible that this is his way of showing he still has feelings for you especially if that’s the kind of dynamic the two of you had when you were together. Age, emotional maturity and lack of ‘healthy’ communication skills can create that kind of dynamic.
In my experience there are two things that could be going on:
1) He’s reacting to you disappearing for 3 weeks then contacting him expecting him to be excited to see/meet you.
2) He is over you and wants to move on.
But that’s hard to tell now because you gave him a way out by suggesting he wanted nothing to do with you and that you will leave him alone.
Saying “I don’t want anything to do with you” to someone you still love and want back is self-sabotage. You will look like a fool trying to re-establish contact after telling someone, “Fine. I’ll leave you alone, I don’t want anything to do with you too.”
But if you want him back, you’ll have to swallow your pride and try to walk back what you said. Start with an apology.
Will he respond? I don’t know.
Whether he does or does not, learn from this experience and do things differently in your next relationship.