Over the years, I have seen that sometimes the difference between men and women who attract back their ex and those who don’t is as simple as what else is going on in someone’s life.
Men and women who don’t have very much else going on in their lives often find themselves needing to contact their ex all the time, begging their ex to come back, and acting needy and clingy. They can’t help themselves because their ex was the only “good thing” in their lives and now that they have lost that one good thing, their lives feel empty and worthless.
Like many of us, they bought into the belief that our happiness is dependent on having a partner or being in a relationship, or that to live the life we love we must have someone to share it with. It’s no wonder that they become needier when a relationship ends. It’s impossible to love your life when the person who makes you love your life has left it.
I have also worked with men and women who thought they wanted their ex back only to realize that the only reason they want their ex back is to distract themselves from dealing with an addiction problem, because they are bored out of their minds or feel a sense of hopelessness after losing a job. Instead of dealing with their personal issues, they found themselves so focused on attracting back their ex, but that too wasn’t going anywhere. They got high or drunk too much and became needy, sent their ex texts just because they were bored and ended up annoying their ex or found themselves dependent on their ex for emotional support or for help getting a job.
There is a connection between living the life you love and relationship success, emotional resilience or ability to get over a break-up, the chances of attracting back your ex and overall wellbeing.
For example, if you are not happy in your job, you will transfer that frustration and unhappiness to your relationship. You complain about your job a little more than your significant other is comfortable with. You may even find yourself feeling insecure and/or acting disgruntled because your partner has a better job, complaining that your partner puts their before you or afraid that your partner will leave you for someone with a better job.
If your health is bad because you’re not taking good care of yourself or need to lose a few pounds, you might not be able to do the things you’d like to do or the things your significant other wants to do. Doing the same things day in and day out is the fastest way to getting bored with each other.
Whether you are trying to get your ex back or just tired of being needy, you owe it to yourself to find out what makes you happy and to live the life you love.
Do what you have to do to create the life you love. Find another job or if you like your job but don’t like the people you work with, change your attitude and how you respond to the situation. Take care of your health, sort out your finances, mend broken relationships with family or friends, reconnect with your spiritual self, get back to doing the things you love, explore new hobbies and interests, etc.
Give as much attention to your life as you are giving to attracting back your ex because at the end of the day, your efforts to attract back your ex will be undermined by what else is going on in your life.
You don’t have to have everything you want in your life or have a life that fulfills all your dreams to love your life. Opening your mind to measures of joy and happiness beyond a relationship, monetary success, body image or number of friends gives you a much better chance of living the life you love.