Sending An Avoidant Ex Video Links: The Low-Effort Mistake

There’s this assumption people make after a breakup: “If I just send them something interesting, funny, or meaningful, it’ll reopen the connection.”

It won’t. At least, not the way you think — especially with an avoidant. Sending links — articles, videos, memes can backfire in ways that feel confusing and discouraging. You think you’re reaching out.
They experience it as distant, low-effort, or even intrusive.
Stop sending random links to your avoidant ex (and expecting it to work)

1. Establish a human moment first

A link is not a conversation starter — it’s an add-on. If you’re going to send a link, at least make sure the person on the other end wants to hear from you first.

Start simple. Say hi. Have a few exchanges. Get a feel for where they are emotionally. Because the reality is: You might be ready to reconnect. They might not be.

Even if they were hoping you’d reach out, no idea why you are sending them that particular link, they’ll be thinking “WHAT?” “Seriously?”

And nothing screams “I didn’t think this through” like dropping a random video into someone’s phone when they haven’t even decided if they want to talk to you yet.

Also, timing matters more than content. They could be dealing with something emotionally stressful, going through a rough patch, or just trying to move on. Meanwhile, you’re sending a “funny video” like everything is normal.

It’s not. Re-establish basic connection before you try to share anything.

2. Links without context feel lazy (because they are)

A link by itself is just… someone else’s words. No effort. No vulnerability. No real communication.

If you haven’t spoken in a while, sending a link instead of actual words feels like you’re outsourcing the conversation. And to an avoidant ex who already keeps emotional distance —that’s not exactly motivating.

Don’t be surprised if you get:

• No response
• A dry “lol”
• Or something equally impersonal

Because that’s the energy you sent first.

When sending links, add something personal. Always. And not just: “Thought you’d like this”
That’s surface-level and forgettable.

Instead, try:

• What specifically made you send them the link
• What part of it impacted you
• Why you felt it was worth sharing

Give them something to emotionally connect to, something to respond to and not just a random link.

3. Don’t assume that your ex is still interested in things they were interested in

You’re not talking to the same person anymore. This one trips people up a lot, and most are disappointed when they don’t get a response or get a dry one. They think their avoidant ex is being cold and distant, and may be doesn’t want contact.

Here’s the thing: You’re sending links based on who your ex used to be.

But breakups change people. A lot. They may have:

• New interests
• Different priorities
• A completely different emotional landscape or routine.

Sometimes people rebuild themselves after a breakup. They rearrange their “broken pieces” into something new. And then you show up with a link that belongs to a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore.

That’s when you get the reaction: “…why are they sending me this?”

Even if they still like those things — movies, gym, music, whatever — it doesn’t mean they’re in the mood to engage with that topic, with you, at that moment.

So don’t assume familiarity equals relevance. Check in with who they are now, before sending a link.

4. Put some emotion into the links you send

A lot of people hide behind links because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of rejection or not getting a response.

So instead of expressing something real, they send content and hope it does the emotional work for them. It doesn’t.

• “I thought you’d like this”
• “I found this interesting”

That’s not emotional connection. That’s commentary.

If you want to actually reach an avoidant ex (or any ex for that matter), say something meaningful enough to make an emotional connection.

For example:

• How you came across the link, article or video
• Something you learned or has helped you in your life
• Something about them you genuinely appreciate that connects to it

You’re not trying to impress them. You’re trying to be real enough that they feel something about the link is worth exploring in conversation.

So… should you send an avoidant ex links, articles, videos, memes, at all?

Yes, sending links, articles, videos, memes is not the problem. Just make sure:

• You’ve already re-established some level of communication
• You add personal meaning to it
• It fits who they are now, not who they were
• It supports connection instead of replacing it

Otherwise, it’s just noise.

Reconnecting with an avoidant ex requires:

• Awareness
• Timing
• Emotional intelligence
• And a willingness to actually show up as real

A link can support that, but it can’t do it for you. If you’re not ready to show up with your own words, don’t expect someone else’s content to carry the connection for you.

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