Many of us know that in the initial stages of trying to get your ex back, sending too many texts or calling them frequently is a major turn off. It therefore makes sense to try to control the number of times you contact your ex.
Controlling the number of times you contact your ex is what has come to be known as “minimal contact”, “limited contact” or “low contact”.
It is supposed to be the alternative for those that do not want to invoke “no contact”, or can not control themselves.
The idea behind “low contact” (LC) is that you contact your ex on a few days to a weekly basis. Some people prefer to have a period of “no contact” first and then transition to “low contact”, and others go straight to “low contact”.
I personally think that everyone has the right to choose whether they want to do “no contact, “low contact”, “high contact” and whatever else. At the end of the day, it’s your relationship, your heart, your life!
My role as a coach is to help you make an informed decision. And here is what I have found out.
“Minimal contact”, “limited contact” or “low contact” can work (up to a point) for people who:
1) know they are not good at communication in general,
2) who don’t have anything to talk about with their ex (don’t have much in common, or simply didn’t take the time to really get to know their ex)
3) are too scared (for whatever reason) to try to work things out
4) really have no chance of getting back their ex.
“Minimal contact”, “limited contact” or “low contact” buys you time to play footsie and/or pretend that you are trying to get back your ex, but that’s just the beginning of your frustration, to put it politely.
Every time you have to make contact (on a few days to a weekly basis), you get a sort of panic attack because you don’t know what to say, or if what you say this time will be what will drive your ex further away.
Then there is the agony of waiting… will he/she respond or will he/she not respond.
If you are lucky, you get a few responses here and there. After a while, you start getting the feeling you are bothering your ex. You wonder if he/she is just being polite responding to your texts, or if may be… he/she is just stringing you along.
So you start waiting a few days before you send your “usual text”, just to see if they’ll contact you, but nope!
But since you are determined, you keep pushing on. But whatever you say just isn’t getting that response that shows that your ex still cares… may be even still loves you.
Has it occurred to you that may be… “minimal contact”, “limited contact” or “low contact” is doing more damage to your chances of getting your ex back?
Related Articles: Understanding Your Avoidant Ex